Love In The Capitol

Why I Will Never Get a Job Teaching Sex Education in High School?

2011-09-09T10:23:00.003-05:00

from the website The Oatmeal:

- miss wolfe

Good News If You Live in New Mexico

2011-09-02T10:38:00.005-05:00

apparently, it is not a crime to have sex in public in New Mexico.

SANTA FE, N.M. (AP) -- He's in uniform and apparently on duty. But New Mexico State Police said the officer caught on camera having sex with a woman on the hood of a car did not commit a crime.

i will have to look for a place to live in New Mexico after I leave Spain. i will have to carry a copy of the article to show the arresting officers. they will have to change their state motto, the land of enchantment, to something much more appropriate.

New Mexico, the Land of Anywhere, Anytime.

- miss wolfe

Feeling Musical

2011-08-25T12:32:00.002-05:00

"We'll take the whole shebang
All or nothing, anything
Ecstasy's the birthright of our gang
We'll take the whole shebang
Free your heart of guilt and shame
Come and claim what's yours
The whole shebang"

from the song The Whole Shebang by Grant-Lee Buffalo

- miss wolfe

Comparisons

2011-08-20T14:36:00.002-05:00

i was in the US for a month and a half recently to visit family and enjoy being home. it isn't quite home, Boston is more home, then Spain, and finally where my parents now live. i could put D.C. in the list; the location ranks a smidgen lower than Spain. i am digressing. people, men and women, ask me about the men in Spain when in the US, and the men in the United States when in Spain.

there is little difference between men. granted there are some inconsequential differences but men tend to act the same no matter where you are located. they are not all smoother or more attractive because you cross a border or ocean. they still want pussy and have difficulty convincing women to let them have it. this is the average man, we aren't talking some sexual superman because they exist in all countries.

a difference, which can be minor or major, is language, especially during excited utterances. at some point over the previous year in Spain, my dirty talk went into spanish. i don't mean just saying "aye papi". it caught some spanish men off guard me spouting off english while getting fucked good. there was a mildly entertaining incident this summer while i was back in the US.

this may be difficult to imagine but i was riding this guy. (i know a shock) it had been about a week since my last really good, non-mastubatory orgasm. my legs on either side of the guy, still wearing my heels, and my hips circling on his cock while i leaned back. i wasn't saying much because of the goodness building in all the wonderful spots. my guy leaned forward and he is going a little deeper inside me. the head of his cock starts to rub against the right place. my pussy instantly clenches and the most amazing orgasm engulfs my body. when i can speak again, it was nothing but spanish coming out of my mouth. the guy looked at me like was speaking an alien language.

- miss wolfe

Antropologists are Wrong!

2011-08-09T15:33:00.002-05:00

it is common among anthropologists that men were the hunters and provided food in prehistoric hunter-gathering tribes. the big, strong man went out to provide for his brood while the woman fashioned bikinis out of the hides of the animals, much like Raquel Welch in One Million Years B.C.

i can disprove this theory with one example. i had the displeasure of using a male restroom the other day when the women's room was not in working order. upon entering the men's room, i notice the urinal area. words cannot justify the scene before my eyes. it looked like someone took a squirt bottle of urine and sprayed it on the urinal, wall and floor. i waited a couple days because it could have been a fluke. the janitors did go through the floor and clean. there was a similar situation. how can men miss something that they stand a couple issues from and piss?

it convinces me that there is no way that prehistoric males went hunting for the family. they can't hit a big porcelain container right in front of them; how the hell are they going to hit an animal with a spear feet away? the family would starve!

seriously men, how can you miss something right in front of you with a hose like appendage?

- miss wolfe

From the Archives

2011-06-07T12:50:00.000-05:00

***while searching through some old posts, i saw this unfinished, unpublished post. i don't promise the same quality because i don't remember all the details or have i edited since spring 2009***

the monster got free a couple weeks ago. i'm not saying the monster was perfectly behaved so far this spring but this time the keeper wasn't there to rein in some measure of control.

the frat was having a beach themed party. frat guys get the girls half naked before the end of the night, you must love their thinking. i got my invite from the frat guy i was fucking and i had not worn my bikini i brought so i was ready to go. it was a pretty typical party, there was drinking, music, dancing, ... . as the night continued, it went to body shots. there are girls walking around in bikini's so why not. i was doing a pretty good job at resisting the body shots. they were doing them with tequilla. my history with tequila is not a good one. it is the one way to bring out the sex freak at light speed. i succumbed to the peer pressure when this really gorgeous girl told me to do one off of her. they set up the shot so the salt was on her stomach, shot glass between her tits and lime in the mouth. there was a chorus of cheers after i did the shot and she slipped me the tongue (a very good kisser by the way).

after i did the body shot, my frat boy tells me he wants to do one off of me. i told him sure, it couldn't hurt because i wasn't drinking more tequila. i lay down the salt on my stomach, shot glass between my boobs, not that i have an impressive set, and lime in my mouth. he does his shot and gives me a little extra tongue. someone offered me another shot of tequila. i was feeling pretty good at this point, a good buzz going, so i didn't think twice about grabbing the shot and downing it. this happened another time or two.

I saw this one hot guy and went over to him and started dancing. I was really up on him, my ass in his crotch, sliding up and down his body, putting one leg up on his hip then leaning way back so my hips pushed into his. We started making out on the dance floor then I whispered we should find some place more quiet.

He took me outside and down the street to his car and we got in the back seat and started making out furiously, then he put me on my back in the back seat and climbed on top of me pulling my skirt down as I undid his pants and then we started fucking. I kind of whimpered and mewed and squirmed the whole time, clawing at his back a bit with my nails but it was fun. Felt good and def. had a great orgasm. He kept moaning abut how tight I was so I guess that good but I do think he had to really clean his back seat the next day.

- miss wolfe

For My Literature Types

2011-06-04T14:09:00.002-05:00

- miss wolfe

Empty Calories But So Much Fun

2011-06-03T22:45:00.003-05:00

i read in some blog or magazine that cum has about 5 to 7 calories per teaspoon. there is also stuff like vitamin c. what the hell! how the fuck does vitamin c get in cum?

it made me wonder about my activities through my sex life. how many semen calories have i swallowed?

i estimate an average of 7 calories for all the cum shots. there have been big loads, small loads and partial loads. 21,000 calories would be 3000 shots. my first blow job happened at 13, this mean there are 3650 days to get 3000 shots. it is completely reasonable knowing my sexual history.

as i think more, it was probably higher than 21,000 calories. there were days where i took 6 loads, some parties where i blew 7 or 8 guys. the total number of calories wouldn't be much higher but there is definitely the possibility. i can say one thing for certain. i enjoyed getting every one of those calories.

- miss wolfe

Don't Panic...

2011-05-25T12:25:00.003-05:00

in yet another way to show my nerdiness and literary resume, today is Towel Day. everyone should remember to bring their towel with them.

- miss wolfe

Quote

2011-05-23T09:14:00.002-05:00

today, i give you a simple quote from my favorite author, Kurt Vonnegut.

"Make love when you can. It's good for you."

From Mother Night.

-miss wolfe

3 Days, 3600 Miles and 1 Ocean

2011-05-09T09:04:00.003-05:00

the next two weeks are going to be disturbed by a quick trip back to the US. my mom guilt tripped me into flying back for three days so i would be able to attend my brother's college graduation with the rest of the family. it is such a pain to deal with customs and flying hours over the atlantic for three days. three days that will be filled with family events and not much time to do what i want. don't get me wrong, i love my family to death but its been so long since i've been in the US and there are things i would like to do. however, these things will have to wait until summer when i come back to the states for a couple months.

i really have to learn this guilt trip that mom's use. i am good at it but moms master the guilt trip. there is a saying about mastering an area, something like it takes 10,000 hours. this is the equivalent of 1,250 days. i guess it would seem reasonable for a mom over the lifetime of her children to master the guilt trip. i don't need any children so it will probably take me a bit longer. either way, i hope you were good to the moms in your life yesterday.

- miss wolfe

Got to get them all

2011-04-23T13:11:00.003-05:00

men need to have baseball cards of their personal stats for women to buy and trade. the stats would have to be collected and compared among women, because any woman that met a guy online or in a bar knows they lie about size and ability. i, personally, never understood this because if they sufficiently impressed a woman enough to sleep with them, the woman would find out the truth.

the cards would have a picture of them on the front with their name and appropriate nickname in parentheses. you can picture the blonde college guy with the shit eating grin and blonde hair. his name would be something like Blane "Lacrosse Douche" Smith (purely made up, i apologize to any non lacrosse douches named blane smith, but face it lacrosse guys, YOU ARE DOUCHES!!!!)

on the back of the card, the vital statistics would be first (length, girth, average time to orgasm). below the vital stats, there would be a section for best and weakest positions or if they are a dirty talker or hair puller. you get the idea.

the real problem is distribution. how would these cards get to women? we can't exactly have them as inserts in cosmo. i think the best way is to have a website for each city. when a woman moves to the city, she can go to the website and order a pack of cards, or get the "all star" pack.

- miss wolfe

European living

2010-08-30T11:57:00.002-05:00

bona nit... wait thats the wrong language ... buenas noches... still wrong ... bonsoir... getting closer...konbanwa... damn, went the wrong direction... good'ay... closer, at least it is a variation of english .... good evening... there it is!

it gets so confusing with so many languages. howdy from the Mediterranean coast you ugly americans! it is silly day for me so bear with me. i am resisting the time zone joke, so count yourselves lucky.

this is the sign that i am still alive but i'm sure most of you are regretting the fact with the lame jokes in the post. my stuff is unpacked and found places on my shelves. well, part of my stuff is with me. if i were to go to visit someone, i would be displaced from more of my stuff and then its time to worry. (if you don't get this joke, you are no longer allowed to read my blog!)

what has happened to me since i last posted. slut and i went on a european whirlwind tour. men were tortured, we had fun, all was good. the best part of my european life has been watching the last stage of the tour de france. slut and i were about 200 yards from the arc de triomphe on the champs-elysees. it was truly a site to see and recommend it to anyone who can afford it.

i am enjoying my new home. i forgot how much that i love the food. the food is too good, so i have to run extra to keep off the pounds. there is a great tapas restaurant where i like to eat. chopitos and gambas with pil-pil are a must! i am in total food heaven.

on my way to spain, i had a funny moment. i ran through the stuff i packed and shipped to see if i forgot anything. when packing, i stuck a buzzy friend in my suitcase. it was during my thinking in the middle of the Atlantic that i remembered Fight Club. my only thought was about my vibrator getting bumped and turned on in the luggage area (again another reference you should know). anyhow, this is enough random thoughts for one day.

- senorita wolfe

Thanks

2010-07-19T12:57:00.002-05:00

thank you all for your input. i will be using some of your suggestions in the near future. the suggestions not used will be adapted to my own purposes. it is always nice to have feedback from my readers.

the majority of the responses asked for stories. i understand you thirst for the dirty side of me. however, it is those kind of posts in which i feel repetitive. i will promise to sit down and type some out for you. i can't promise post gold.

i am leaving for spain in a couple days so the posts won't be coming this week as i finish last minute things and fly over the atlantic. i can tell you a couple things. my level of horniness has been through the roof these past couple weeks and the wolfe has been prowling. there has been some victims, but they weren't hurt and had a smile when i was finished. i can't figure out why i have been so turned on recently. somethings are better left unknown.

- miss wolfe

Blocked

2010-07-12T22:06:00.002-05:00

i sit down to write every day. i manage to pound out a couple sentences but there isn't any satisfaction in what i write. this could be me being difficult on myself. however, i don't feel there is anything really new to write. i beg any readers to send me some ideas, any stories you want to hear or something you saw in the news. i would be in your debt.

- miss wolfe

Save Room, Don't Take Panties

2010-06-28T11:31:00.003-05:00

the past weeks have been spent parsing through my every belonging. there are two lessons learned. i have way too much stuff and the George Carlin comedy routine about people and their stuff is true. it is times like this that i truly appreciate my ipod and computer. it is so easy to compress all the music i love into a small ipod. however, the decisions have been made and the final list was approved for all my belongings. the majority of my stuff is in boxes ready for storage while the rest is ready to travel over the atlantic ocean for its new home.

along the way, there was hotly debated objects in my head. how many dildos do i take? do i buy a new computer over there or take my current one? the first question was the most important. a girl has to get off from time to time. yes, i have dry spells just like everyone else and need to take matters in my own hands. readers are aching to ask, how many? two. which dildos? one which goes buzz and a glass dildo.

i am reminded of the book Fight Club when talking about air travel with a vibrator. if you haven't read the book, it has a much better ending than the movie. the movie has a great lead up to a horrible end, typical hollywood bullshit.

there was a key piece of advice while choosing my objects. while i was venting on the phone to Slut, she tells me, "i don't know why you are so worried. Don't pack any panties and it will save you room." she was half serious and half wanting to make me laugh to calm myself down.

ultimately my advice to anyone traveling and worried about room: save room, don't take panties.

- miss wolfe

Yin and Yang

2010-06-25T16:28:00.006-05:00

i am a bit of a starbucks junky of late. it is the fault of this one horse town for not having options. nevertheless, there are fun little bonuses to observant people while relaxing at starbucks. there were two excellent examples of good and bad observations today at the local coffee hang out.

the ridiculous
there was an older gentleman, would guess early 40's, sitting with this average looking, 20'ish, girl. it was obvious there was something going on between them. this isn't the bad part. if you are a man in your 40's pulling 20 something pussy, good for you. my issue started when this white man with greying hair and beer gut walks to the counter to obtain a refill. he was wearing teenage, rap/hip-hop shorts. the denim shorts that have their boxers hanging out the top and go down to mid-calf. it was difficult not to laugh aloud. i don't care who you are or if you can pull young female ass, dress for your age. its almost as bad as they guy who can't stop saying "dude" past college. unless you are keanu reeves or a surfer along the beach, give it up. p.s. keanu, you also look and sound foolish saying dude.

the fantastic
a woman, i would guess 40's again, walks into the starbucks with her friend. she had to be 5'10 or 11, long straight natural red hair, freckles, tight ass, and perky b-cups. she wore these grey work slacks that hugged her ass and a low cut blouse. every man in the place was staring at her. my brother who was sitting with me, a whole other story, caught sight of her and uttered "Fuck!"
this woman was a perfect 10 for any age. anyone paying attention knew she had a husband from the meteor sized diamond sitting on her ring finger. i wouldn't blame him for showering her with diamonds. he would want to keep her because she could be pulling hard, dick from young stallions. hell, i would get with her and let his ass watch. absolutely stunning. i didn't have my phone with me to take a photo but the next time i see her, you are going to get a picture.

- miss wolfe

God?

2010-06-17T15:50:00.002-05:00

is god a man or a woman? if you believe the bible, god has to be a woman. why? there are two scenarios, you can decide which one is truer.

case for a male god

as we know from the bible, god created adam first. why would a guy create another guy first? either god was looking for a drinking buddy or god was gay and needed a lover. if god wanted a drinking buddy, there is no way he would send him off to the garden of eden. he would want his drinking buddy around to party. this doesn't make any sense to me. if god were a male and gay, it would make perfect sense. god and his boyfriend were getting along, then the boyfriend did something unforgivable. what would be the option? god would break up with him and banish him to a far away place. however, we all know how much religion hates gay people so this isn't really a possibility.

case for a female god

women want more than anything for a man to love them. therefore it makes sense for adam to be created first. everything went well for a week or so, then adam started leaving his fig leaves on the floor. god gets pissed and tells him to pick that shit up. adam, being a man, doesn't pick up the fig leaves. god kicks him out of heaven to the garden of eden. since god is a woman, we are vindictive, so she creates eve to torture adam in the garden of eden. eve walks around in her skimpy fig leaves causing adam to get blue balls. this backfires on god because the new woman digs adam. god can't have this, so she gives them some random rule: don't eat from this tree. of course eve gets pissed at god, "who does this bitch god think she is?" eve grabs the fruit and offers it to adam. now there is no going back for god. she kicks both their asses out of eden.

there is no doubt that god is a woman.

- miss wolfe

A short video

2010-05-14T09:56:00.002-05:00

while visiting one of my favorite websites, i found this gem. it is short and funny. give it a chance.

- miss wolfe

PS: the best part happens around minute three.

Waving bye to fantasy land and embracing reality?

2010-04-27T14:40:00.003-05:00

i am sad as the end of my college career comes to an end. this is the point where a devil-may-care attitude needs to go away. all of a sudden, i should be a responsible, contributing member of society. don't misunderstand me, i was a responsible person prior to this point but i partly lose the excuse of youthful exuberance. i apologize for the the five dollar words, it is another side effect of becoming a college grad. it could be that i like to use them in order to confuse people too. you can call me a snobby bitch, i can be.

there has been a couple e-mails asking me about my plans following my degree. the plan is more school. what else did you expect. i will be miss wolfe the expatriate. this is a warning to all you spanish men to watch out for the "big bad wolfe". (there slut. i used the term.)

only one thing to do with my undergraduate career. GO OUT WITH A BANG! ...or maybe three or four.

-miss wolfe

Be Positive

2009-12-15T22:12:00.004-05:00

i'm in the middle of finals week but i do want to explain one new addition to my blog. you will notice an advertisement on the side. in advance, i do not make any money from the Blackbox Republic. i am a founding member and i believe in the idea behind it. what is the idea?

Blackbox Republic is a pay social networking site that is sex positive. for those who don't want to click the wiki link, the sex positive movement is essentially accepting that every one has different likes and dislikes when it comes to sex. there are those who want to wait for marriage, straight, gay, transgendered, etc... . it is about finding a group of people who don't judge because of a personal choice. i try to write the same message in my blog.

Blackbox isn't a "hook up" site or adult friend finder, unless you want to find someone of a similar mind set and you hit it off. you can participate by supporting others or putting up funny links. we only ask that you don't judge people for who they chose to be.

because Blackbox is a pay site, i don't expect you to join. i am not asking you to join. however, if you have a couple extra bucks and want to meet a great group of people, click the link on the side and explore a little. we don't bite... well some might bite. we accept all with open arms, no matter your taste. also, if you do join, let me know so i can add you to my friends.

- miss wolfe

Remember All Your Protection

2009-11-24T10:41:00.005-05:00

i saw this sticker on someone's computer screen this week. the choice was leave it there or be a thief. you know what my decision was. it was way too funny for the cocky dickhead throwing the party to have. if you think about it, i was helping him. seriously, i will return it to him because all i wanted to do is scan it for the blog.

men remember to warn your ladies if they are a novice. you don't want to put out their eye. if i don't see you before thursday, HAVE A GREAT TURKEY DAY!

- miss wolfe

Thank You

2009-11-11T20:11:00.002-05:00

i am ashamed to admit something. i almost forgot to thank all the wonderful people today that serve this great country. to all of those who are serving or have served this country, i thank you for your supreme sacrifice and service to the United States. i hoped you had a good Veteran's Day and your service will never be forgotten by me. Thank you!

- miss wolfe

When Did That Get There?

2009-11-11T12:56:00.005-05:00

as the readers would of guessed, i am the epitome of grace and elegance. you should notice the sarcasm dripping from the previous statement. the only time where i could be considered graceful is the times i run. everyone has their dork moments in life. however, mine happen at the most embarrassing times.

i was out with friends this weekend. our plan was to eat out then go out dancing. we had finished eating and coming outside the restaurant. one of my friends says in a low voice, "oh my god, he is so hot." of course, this will get my attention quickly. my pussy enjoys a good hottie to think about while i masturbate. to digress for a moment, you can call it my spank bank even though it is more of a male name.

i turn to notice this hunk of a man. there was obviously ripped muscled under his clothes. my mind instantly went to all the lewd and prurient things i would do to him. while my mind came up with ideas, my legs kept walking. it is odd how the mind will do this but not pay attention to where i happened to walk. this situation was remedied quickly after i walked into a parking meter. you should note, this isn't the first time and i haven't learned apparently.

as you would guess, my incident didn't go unnoticed. there was pointing, laughing and ridicule, the trifecta for embarrassing moments. if you are wondering, the guy did notice. he had a smirk on his face, trying his best not to laugh. yes, i am a huge dork.

- miss wolfe

Is It Truly Unjust?

2009-11-04T13:31:00.005-05:00

if you weren't paying attention last night, Maine voters denied same sex couples the right to marry. my views on gay marriage aren't a big secret, i am for it. after all, if a homosexual man or woman wants to be in a miserable, loveless marriage, they should be allowed to do it.

however, this may be the key to the voting. the straight people aren't homophobic. they are saving same sex couples from the misery of marriage and divorce. as it stands now, same sex couples don't have the legal issues when the relationship is over. they don't have to hire a lawyer or sit across the table from their former lover while they fight over stupid shit. who really cares about the gravy boat that aunt sally gave you as a present? they can leave with the stuff they brought into the relationship.

the reader shouldn't mistake my satire for a serious commentary. it is a sad state of affairs when people are misled by fear or hate to forsake the basic human right to find love with another person and announce that love by having a wedding. i am not surprised. the whole of human existence is filled with actions taken out of fear or hate. it is my hope that this non-issue manages to work itself out sometime soon.

this brings up a good question. does marriage ruin perfectly good relationships or do the wrong people get married? or is it both?

- miss wolfe

People Bug Me Sometimes

2009-10-30T20:55:00.005-05:00

a friend forwarded me an article from a Boston free magazine this week. she sent me this because it would get under my skin and i would send some email in reply. she knows her audience well. after writing and rereading my email, i thought that you might enjoy it.

****
This is in response to your One Man's List article. After taking five minutes to read the utter trash, it is my opinion that the writer was confused for a baby seal and beat across the head until he was severely retarded. The writer states, "...I'll also try to make this a little more informative than the typical 'uhhuhuhhuhhuh, guys like sex and sports and beer' column that every collegiate sex columnist...". It is safe to say he utterly failed at this goal. I can sum up his list of 17 items into three things: 1. I like sports 2. I am a self-centered ass who demands all the attention and 3. I like sex. In his defense, he did forget the beer part.

The most disturbing part of the article is point number three. I puked a little in my mouth when he writes about liking Kim Cattrall's tits. I am dumbfounded how someone can find an ancient, leather skinned woman like Kim Cattrall that attractive. If you want an attractive version of Kim Cattrall, he would have to watch Porkie's, Police Academy or Mannequin. Clearly, Kristin Davis had the best body on that show, if you didn't cover Sarah Jessica Parker's head with a bag.

To points eight and seventeen, the writer clearly doesn't understand the irony, not the Alanis Morissette kind, of these two items. He asks women to humor men when they have an unrealistic sports fantasy. However, he is not able to humor us when we feel not so attractive and in need of a compliment to feel better about ourselves.

He continues with the contradictions in points nine and sixteen. Although, it may not be a contradiction as much as not knowing what communication means. Communication is the exchange of ideas, not listening for keywords. The vast majority of men communicate verbally about as well as a three year old hopped up on sugar and Coke. Most men who do communicate verbally are gay or so metro sexual that we are convinced they are gay. As for the problem solving, there are times in both sexes lives when a person wants to vent. The only solution to the problem is to let us talk.

I won't comment on every point to make this shorter. Nevertheless, I have some points to make. Yes, women take too long to get ready sometimes. We like to look good for you, or don't you want the guys in the room to be jealous of you because the hottie is on your arm and not theirs. For an article that isn't supposed to be about guys liking sex, you mention sex in six of the seventeen points. Women and men both hate clingy people. I am reminded of the scene in Swingers where Jon Favreau calls Heather Graham. If we like you, we don't want to seem clingy and scare you off. If you want us to know something about sports, you must know something about an interest of ours. You cannot complain when we want to do a girlie thing when we watch sports with you.

Relationships, which I assume the writer wants, are about give and take. They are about understanding. It is clear he has little of both. It is no wonder he is left to write a misguided approach to "help" women understand men. If he has trouble understanding this email, maybe he should grab one of those bags and use it.

- miss wolfe

Overexposed?

2009-10-29T16:51:00.002-05:00

i have a serious question which i should probably know the answer. to all the men reading this, try not laughing at me too hard. is there such a thing as too many pictures of pussy?

now that all the men are done laughing at me, there is a serious aspect to this question. with the popularity of porn, free porn, up-skirt photos, and accidental celebrity no panties pictures; it seems to me that there could be too much exposure to it. the "too much of a good thing" syndrome could apply to this. for example, i LOVE peanut butter but after about the 200th spoonful each day, i can't eat anymore. this also applies to porn. there exists men and women who are over saturated with porn that they need to go to more and more hardcore porn to get off. i couldn't tell you what the more hardcore option is for pussy, so it leads me to believe that men could get bored with it.

again, stop laughing at me. its obvious to any woman that men don't get tired of looking at tits. any person walking down a public street would notice this obsession. i am reminded of a Married with Children episode where kelly and bud distract al and the NO MAAM'ers with a playboy centerfold in order to get to the hidden refrigerator. i suppose this really answers my question. however, i don't own a dick and a male mind so i ask the question.

seriously, stop laughing.

- miss wolfe

Some People are Special

2009-09-30T07:47:00.002-05:00

Warning: This post is not a happy go lucky post. It is a pissed off rant.

if you aren't aware, roman polanski, famous director of Rosemary's Baby, drugged, took nude pictures and raped a 13 year old girl (he was 45 at the time) in 1978. after pleading guilty and then finding out he would spend actual time in jail instead of probation, he fled the country to avoid his sentence. if you are counting, he is now guilty of rape, child pornography, corruption of a minor, and failure to appear.

in my opinion, the authorities having this man arrested is a good thing. however, the hollywood types disagree with this. the stupidest of the hollywood types is whoopi goldberg. according to whoopi, polanski didn't commit "rape-rape". WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE?!?!?!? the man is scum. he gave a little girl drugs and alcohol then preceded to have sex with her while she told him to stop. if this isn't rape, i have not idea what is rape. this would be considered rape even if it happened while she was the age of legal consent.

let's explore this whole whoopi thing a little more. whoopi goldberg is a feminist. feminists are the people that support women's rights? she is defending one of the hollywood types and throwing women under the bus. i mean it wasn't real rape or as she likes to say "rape-rape". obviously the 13 year old girl was asking for it. did she only say no once? after all, a woman can't mean no if she only says it once. was the girl dressed sexy? we all know that a girl that dresses sexy is obviously asking for it. i ask again, WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE?

let's suppose roman polanski was a member of NAMBLA, a regular joe and it was a 13 year old boy. there is no way in hell he would get the outpouring of support from these people. everyone would be calling for him to be on the sexual predator list and he would be in jail for at least a decade. let's suppose roman polanski was a teacher at a middle school and he had sex with a student. he would lose his career, be put in jail for a long time, and be put on the sexual predator list. let's imagine roman polanski is a conservative republican. i could go on but won't bore you with anymore details.

whoopi goldberg is a disgrace. she should never represent the views of feminism. she should be removed from her role on the view. every women should boycott any product she or the view advertises until she is fired. this is not an acceptable stance on "rape-rape".

- miss wolfe

Men and Clothes

2009-09-26T11:29:00.002-05:00

after going out last night with friends, i am convinced that men need garanimals just as badly as little boys. i would love to know how the straight male mind works when it comes to getting dressed. let me rephrase the previous sentence, does the straight male mind work when it comes to dressing oneself. men, you don't have to look like you came out of a fashion magazine but look like you put some effort into your clothes. you can pick out clothes which aren't wrinkled to begin.

needless to say, there was no action last night for me. my roommate did get some action last night. i was a bit jealous of her. it isn't a big deal though because i got my fair share of action this week. my hormones were in overdrive this week. i would almost feel sorry for the booty calls guys this week but they went to bed smiling. it isn't my fault it was 11 at night and i was horny.

- miss wolfe

The Last Application

2009-09-18T14:07:00.002-05:00

the grad school applications are done. all recommendations and transcripts are sent. it feels so good to have it behind me and now wait for the responses. until the responses come pouring in my mail, i am going to go out and have fun. this includes catching up on some posts, so hold your horses and be calm.

- miss wolfe

Are You?

2009-07-26T12:00:00.002-05:00

a reader asked me about being a sex addict recently. i probably answered this question previously, it is difficult to tell what i've answered after the years and number of posts.

currently, i would classify myself a recovering sex addict. there was a point in my high school years where i would constantly chase the next orgasm. i would see a guy and think if he could give me a good orgasm. when i found someone that could give me an good or great orgasm, i would latch on to him and have one wild ride. the major issue with this behavior is the stupid risks or acts i took. i am very lucky that i didn't get an std or worse. i realized my actions were stupid and borderline suicidal (the dreaded std, HIV/AIDS). this is where i gained a measure of self control and not satiating every sexual urge or desire. the caged animal does escape from time to time but i limit the damage the creature does.

i hope that answers your question. another sex tip for women today: honey helps increase blood flow. this means a higher state of arousal and better orgasms.

- miss wolfe

Long Time

2009-07-25T20:28:00.002-05:00

there hasn't been a post since before independence day. why? life happens and it happened to keep me busy. as you know, slut and i went to her grandfather's house for a week. there was fun that week, a little too much fun at times. i have four unfinished posts and new ones to write, so be on the look out for them in the next week.

a quick sex tip before i leave: oatmeal will increase your testosterone levels men. this will cause an increase in your sex drive. however, it will also increase your fertility, so beware.

- miss wolfe

Vacation Island

2009-07-06T13:07:00.002-05:00

i am taking the opportunity to update here on vacation. it was a wonderful weekend for weather. the sky was clear and it didn't get too hot. this made for some good time spent on the beach. i am particularly relaxed because i am running on the beach every day. there is no better place to run in my opinion.

on a side note, i caught the tour de france today after my morning run. i've never watched it. the cycling outfits certainly make it easier to see who is packing what. there were a couple riders i would love to ride. yummy thoughts.

- miss wolfe

You Win

2009-06-25T20:58:00.002-05:00

i got the clue. readers can be damn persistent when it comes to knowing something. you can stop bugging slut and sending me e-mail asking me about the other weekend. it was a matter of time until the wild sex animal escaped the cage. over a month without sex is entirely too long for me. fingers and dildos aren't enough. sometimes a girl just needs a dick. it is my belief that there are no true lesbians. girls need dicks!

anyhow, i went off on a rant there. i will tell you the whole story on saturday because i am busy at the moment and i have plans tomorrow night.

- miss wolfe

Not Waiting

2009-06-23T09:20:00.003-05:00

it has been 6 days and still no return call from sam. after the dinner debacle, i gave him a day to think then called to see if everything was okay. i left him a message on his voice-mail. on saturday, i ran into the hostess from the dinner party and she asked how "we", sam and i, were doing. i explained the situation and somehow she saw my side of the story. i thought maybe she might talk some sense into sam. alas, there is still no word. i am done with sam, not worth my effort any longer. there could of been something but no more. i am going to get laid.

- miss wolfe

Freaky Woman or Lucky Dog

2009-06-19T17:24:00.003-05:00

this pic has been making the round today on the interweb. it stars eliza dushku (actress) and a burmese mountain dog. at first, i wanted to be that dog because she is super hot. however, i started looking at the blow up on her face. is it me or is she really seem to be enjoying the attention? lol. i joke because i don't want to be sued. i am still jealous of the dog.

-miss wolfe

The Dinner

2009-06-18T14:48:00.004-05:00

slut was gone last night to do her thing with a friend who is in town. the apartment was mine for the night. sam was back in town so i invited him over for dinner. i was going to take the advice given to me and tell him about loner-douche.

i made my vegetarian lasagna for sam. it usually gets rave reviews, but i don't tell them its vegetarian at first because people have a stigma against vegetarian food. sam was being affectionate, kisses and hugs. he wanted to help me with dinner but i told him to sit down. we talked about our lives since he went to his family reunion. when i got dessert, he asked me about the dinner party again.

i told him the same thing i wrote in the post. i really enjoyed his friends but didn't like loner-douche. he wanted to know why. i told him the whole story about going back to the bathroom. he sat there quiet for a moment. after he was done thinking, we spoke on it more. something was different about him. there was a change in his tone, not in a good way.

the remaining time, he was distant. it was almost like i did something wrong or disappointed him. i hate men.

- miss wolfe

Duck, Duck, Douche

2009-06-12T19:35:00.002-05:00

sam's friend was having a dinner party last saturday and he asked me to be his date. a person's friends are the best way to gain insight to that person, so i was going to the dinner party. (i wonder what i say about slut and vice versa.)

sam must of made of point of scoring points with me that night. he showed up exactly at the time he said. it was perfect timing because i had just finished preparing for the date. when i answered the door, he told me how gorgeous i looked and followed it with a big hug and soft kiss. sam held and shut the car door for me. he didn't go overboard with the complements but he added a couple more in the car. the car ride wasn't long to his friend's condo. before we left, he leaned over to give me a kiss and tell me how sexy i looked. sam was getting a lot more affectionate. if he was trying to get up my dress, he was doing a very good job of it.

we were the last to arrive at the dinner party. i walked into a living room full of people. all eyes were on the new person, me. it made me cautious, knowing my worthiness to date sam was going to be judged. there were 3 other couples and a loner guy at the party with sam and i. two of the couples were married, i think the other was engaged and then the loner guy who gave me a weird vibe. sam's friend got us drinks while his wife put the finishing touches on dinner. the conversation was loose and light hearted. there were quips and wisecracks between them all. there was no focus on me because they seemed intent on making fun of each other.

attention didn't focus on me until dinner. the hostess started to ask about me and it led to others asking me questions. the highlight for the group seem to come when they asked how sam and i met. i told them he was a friend of my older brother and we ran into each other at my brother's wedding last fall. i was up in boston for the summer and we ran into each other at a club. they wanted to know my age because i said older brother. even though there is only a five year difference, the cradle robbing jokes started to fly. they were ruthless. i felt sorry for giving the ammunition against him, so i leaned in to whisper an apology. sam mouthed, "its okay."

it was between dinner and dessert, sam put his hand high on my leg under the table. his hand was fine there until he began to move his fingers on my inner thigh. this drove my pussy crazy. he was teasing her to the point of wetness. i couldn't tell if he was doing this knowingly or not, i still can't to this day. my panties were soaked by the time we all went back to the living room.

we talked in the living room for a long time. i really like his friends. they were funny and had some intelligent things to discuss. toward the end, i desperately needed to use the rest room. i politely asked where it was located. loner friend offered to show me where it was because he was retrieving his jacket and heading home. this is when a douche move happened. loner hit on me. you will say, "wolfe, you probably misunderstood him." there was nothing to misunderstand. loner said, "you are pretty hot. are you sure you don't want to dump sam and go out with me?"

amazingly enough, i had the composure to not go off on him and walk into the bathroom. loner douche was gone when i got back to the living room. sam inquired if i was ready to leave. i certainly was after the loner douche hit on me. he asked me my thoughts on his friends on the car ride home. i loved all of his friends with exception of loner douche. he asked why and i told him that loner douche gave me a creepy, slimy vibe. i didn't tell him about the incident by the bathroom and don't know if i should. how do you tell a guy one of his buddies is a super dick, especially when you first start seeing the person?

- miss wolfe

Quickie

2009-06-12T07:22:00.002-05:00

its been a couple days since i last posted, so here is a quickie before work. Eddie was great, the drunk ass hats in the crowd not so great. the stupid security attempting to get rid of ass hats were moronic. Eddie has a great voice, good stories between songs, well worth the tickets.

i went out with sam this week and a party over last weekend. there are some interesting stories that i will get to later.

finally, a question from a reader. chris writes, "I have been following your blog. It is really interesting. I noticed that you seem close to your brother. My question have you ever been intimate with him or fantasize about it ??" OMG, NEVER!!!!!!!!!!!! what a sick question! i didn't grow up in the back mountains of west virginia. there is a brother sister relationship, nothing more.

- miss wolfe

Giddy

2009-06-09T10:52:00.002-05:00

i am excited. in a couple hours, Slut and i are going to new york to see Eddie Vedder in concert. what i wouldn't give to get back to the dressing room and fuck his brains out. he is so hot. he can come finger my guitar anytime. okay, the last sentence was a lame play on words. i am giddy, what do you expect?

- miss wolfe

The Suck-in

2009-06-03T10:47:00.002-05:00

the suck-in has to be the worst, yet funny maneuver in the history of flirting and pictures. you know the move, you've probably done the move. it is when someone is trying to look better than they are and suck in their gut to appear thinner. admit it! i know you've done it.

who do people think they are fooling? it isn't fooling me. people have a constipated look on their face when they do the suck-in. i can't think of anything more attractive than a guy approaching me and it looks like they have to take a big dump. you can try to cover up the look but it is always there. no smile will change it. i often wondered if they suck-in people thought about the long term. they charm the other person. the suck-in person can't hold it forever.

my favorite suck-in are the ones immortalized in pictures. men and women are equally guilty in this sin. it is most common in the bathing suit or shirtless pictures. everyone wants to look good in pictures, but you cause the constipated look again. it looks worse on the women though. when they do the suck-in, the top part of their abs go in and then there is the bottom line of the rib cage that shows. now, the woman looks constipated and like she is sucking in her gut.

there is a simple way to avoid this situation. DON"T DO IT! if you are that insecure about your body do something to change it for the long term. otherwise, love your body for what it is.

- miss wolfe

Mail Monday

2009-06-01T22:19:00.004-05:00

let's start with Brian: Are you going to the DMB shows at Fenway park?
no, i am not. when tickets went on sale, i didn't know was going to be in boston over the summer. the tickets were too expensive by the time i knew of my summer plans. however, i do have tickets for Eddie Vedder's solo tour. he is so hot.

from e-mail, millic tells me on saturday they played an unaired episode of Pushing Daisies.
this just pisses me off. with all the dumb shit and reruns they play during they week, they decide to play an episode on saturday. saturday is party or date night. GIVE THE SHOW A CHANCE!!!! sorry, i am a little angry.

from peach tart: well do tell....have your heard back from him? (meaning my older brother's friend after i molested him)
first, i will call him sam. my older brother's friend is entirely too long to type. sam called me back for a date. it seems my hands did something right while following their own urges. we had a sweet date (typical dinner and movie). there was a kiss at the end of the date. sam didn't push it any further and my hands were well behaved. i am disappointed he didn't at least try for more than a kiss. it has been three weeks since i last got some dick. i need to find a throw away hottie to fuck me silly until sam decides he wants more.

- miss wolfe

Mind of Its Own

2009-05-28T19:13:00.002-05:00

my hands have been very bad lately. they have a mind of their own. it is sort of like the movie Idle Hands (with the 17 year old, kinky, half naked in parts of the movie, goddess jessica alba) with exception of killing. my hands are aiming to please people. there was tuesday morning with slut, wednesday night with slut and then the person i ate lunch with today.

when i went out with slut and red on last friday, i ran into one of my older brother's friends. he was at my brother's wedding in the fall. i flirted with him a little at the wedding and a lot on friday night. we exchanged numbers on friday. when i called him on sunday, he offered to take me out to lunch sometime this week. today, he took me out to lunch. i flirted my way through lunch. he didn't seem to mind because he was flirting back. we were driving back from lunch and my hand got ideas.

the hand crept over to his leg, high on his lap. it didn't stop there because my fingers started to move on his thigh. he was nervous. i could tell in his voice as he talked to me. i never touched his dick directly, but i knew it was hard. he walked me to the door and gave me a hug. my hand took the opportunity to brush over his dick.

- miss wolfe

Nothing Decent to Watch

2009-05-26T09:49:00.003-05:00

i was watching television last night and saw a commercial for wipeout. this is the one reality show i would love to do. why? the big red balls. it is my only reason. sitting here thinking about wipeout makes me think of my frustration with television.

every year perfectly good television shows, every one i like, get canceled for pure crap. this may it was Life. it was a great show. there was humor, murders to figure out, hot people to look at and written well. yet, nbc throws it away for the utter shit they call a schedule. it has been a sad year overall. when Pushing Daisies was canceled, fucking abc, i was ready to give up on television but life was coming out in the winter so there was a glimmer of hope.

why do great, smart, quirky shows always get canceled? damn american people and their love of dumb "reality shows". "reality shows" belong in summer. start watching something that makes you think! i will miss you, Life. you will join Pushing Daisies and Arrested Development in my book.

- miss wolfe

Peace of Mind

2009-05-23T12:49:00.002-05:00

it is relaxing being at my true home. i like DC and where my parent's now live but they will never replace Boston. i go out running my old routes and it is as if i never left. however, getting into old routines can be a bad thing. i am going to attempt to make some new routines, because i could end up back in Boston for grad school.

i had my first day of my summer job yesterday. it was mostly filling out paper work and being shown around a school i already know. the dingbat grad student wasn't paying attention when i told him my parents used to teach at the school. i knew more of the campus than he did. he can be tolerated because he took me to lunch with some of his friends, really cute friends. they stop by the lab to visit and i won't complain.

slut, her neighbor and i went out to a club last night. i don't really know her neighbor that well. when i stayed here two summers ago, red (i think this is what slut calls her) was moving in at the end of my stay. red is super hot. while talking to her last night, she was telling me that she did some modeling while in college. i would love a couple pictures of her naked, modeling for me. slut met up with one of her toys. this left red and i to go home in a cab by herself. i was flirting with her most of the night. i want to know what she tastes like.

- miss wolfe

E-mails/Comments

2009-05-21T09:36:00.003-05:00

i had an unintentional consequence of a recent post centered around MCB's questions. i received a landslide of questions following the post. in an effort to answer some of them; here we go.

from Wino: I would love to hear the story of how that profile picture was taken.
the picture was taken by a tripod. how did you fit under the tripod to take it? it wasn't a mechanical tripod. it was a rather large endowed guy that was fooling around with my camera. i call him tripod, but not to his face. he doesn't need a bigger ego than he already has.

from David (he asked a lot of things but for this format i will take the short answer question): What's the sexiest lingerie you've got, and if you were going after some guy, what would you wear (outer and under)?
i don't have much as far as lingerie. i have push up bras to make my girls look bigger, they need the help. i have a variety of panties, ranging from cotton, lace, silk, and satin. i don't own fancy lingerie stuff because it isn't me. besides, one of the sexiest things in my mind is a girl in panties with a man's dress shirt. call me old fashioned. i don't have anything special that i wear to go after a guy. a lot of people have their "lucky" shirt or something like to that extent. i walk up with my confidence and not being afraid to go after someone.

from anonymous: What kind of pranks have you and your brother played on each other?
one of my favorite pranks was plastic wrapping his toilet late one night. when he went to the bathroom in the morning, i never laughed so hard at him. he attempted to put kool-aid in my shampoo one time but it failed because i look at my shampoo before i rub it in my hair. i've tried the hand in warm water thing, but it didn't work, very disappointing. he has done the shaving cream in the hand bit to me. one of my better ones is the fake lottery ticket. my brother likes to buy a scratch off lottery ticket from time to time. one day, i acted generous and bought him a "ticket". he starts scratching off the stuff and he wins $10,000. he was jumping and screaming. it was so hard to hold in a laugh. finally, he noticed me smiling and laughing, that is when he caught on to the joke.

-miss wolfe

Superman: Super Hero or Pervy Stalker

2009-05-18T11:46:00.002-05:00

i caught superman returns this weekend on television. i'm not much for super hero movies but for some reason, i watched it. while watching the movie, i came to the conclusion that superman/clark kent is creepy.

superman does a number of creepy things. the first being, he floats outside her window using his super hearing and x-ray vision to spy on her. if you take away the super powers and substitute guy across the street, this is very stalkerish. later in the movie, superman, as clark kent, watches lois lane walk to an elevator and uses his x-ray vision to watch her in the elevator go to the roof. Again, if you take away the super powers, following someone around is a stalker activity.

you say, "miss wolfe, you are only mentioning one movie."

true, but if you go back to the 1978 superman movie, lois lane dies. superman can't take this so he flies around the world backwards to reverse history. he doesn't do this to save a group of people, he does this to save one person. surely, he does this because of love. right. in superman 3, he moves on to lana lang. he has this same attachment in the smallville series on tv to lana lang.

superman is for truth, justice and the american way. he is a super hero. bullshit. his only goal is to track down the woman he "loves". there should be an investigation into his real motives.

- miss wolfe

For MCB

2009-05-16T12:03:00.003-05:00

since MCB is the only one giving me a comment on the last post, he gets my undivided attention for now.

1. Besides spending some time in Boston, what are your plans for the summer? my plans include working, running, a vacation in there somewhere, the visits to my parents, and having fun. they won't follow in that order, i will try to mix it up a little for shits and giggles. also, i have grad school things to fill out, so i will be finding a way to stay in school for a longer period of time.

2. What do you think of Obama's first 100 days? you don't want me to get started in politics. obama and his predecessor are jokes. the state of the government in this country is a joke. i yearn for the days of Bush #1 and Clinton. granted, i wasn't really paying attention to politics then but economically we were a far better country.

3. Ever had any problems while giving road head? hahaha! i haven't had many problems with road head. the only thing i can think is a misfire. i am off the guy's dick and he shoots it in my hair, not an easy fix in a car. cum in hair is never a good thing.

- miss wolfe

2009-05-15T12:18:00.001-05:00

i've been sitting here looking at a blank screen. i have no idea what to write. any ideas?

- miss wolfe

Just Plain Mean

2009-05-13T15:48:00.003-05:00

my younger brother and i have a very adversarial, yet loving, relationship. it is expected considering we are a year apart.

i was outside stretching for a run this morning. the neighbor across the street came out of his house to go to work. we exchanged the ceremonial greeting and he must of felt chatty because there was some small talk. i stood there exchanging the small talk, not paying attention to anything in particular. out of nowhere, my brother sneaks up behind me and pants me in front of the neighbor. the neighbor is like 19 and lives with his parents so not like he minded. my brother takes off running inside.

after quickly pulling up my running shorts and thanking god i wore panties today, i took off after him. there was screaming and pounding on his door but he was entrenched and not leaving. before i left, i told him i would get even when he least expected it.

cut to later this afternoon, i was going shopping for some new running shoes and asked if my brother wanted to come along because he was complaining about getting a new hockey stick and some bearings for his rollerblades. we went to the area dick's sporting goods. i already knew the shoes to buy so it didn't take me long to get my stuff. i found my brother talking to some guy by the hockey stuff. something clicked in my mind and it was time for payback.

i walk up to my brother while he is talking to this stranger. they are talking about the hockey playoffs. i put my arm around him, like we are boyfriend and girlfriend. he gives me a "what the fuck" look. there was a break in the conversation and i take my moment.

"is he the guy you want to bring in to bed for the threesome?"

you could of heard a pin drop after the words escaped my mouth. the guy was stunned and my brother was so red faced with embarrassment. i looked at my brother and started to laugh so hard. i swear i could of pissed my pants. i walked away laughing while my brother tried to explain away my question. karma is a bitch sometimes.

- miss wolfe

Lunch with Mom

2009-05-12T15:33:00.003-05:00

despite the flaws of living in the middle of no where, there are some benefits. it is much easier to run here than in a city. i am not worrying about some car coming out of nowhere and running me over. a down side is the lack of finding a guy with a hot ass to follow when i run. there is a chance to slow down my pace and enjoy the view for a moment or two. then, i speed past him.

i ran to my mom's work today. it has the option of a winding back road to get there. there is a golf course i run by. it always scares me because i tempting fate at getting hit by a golf ball from some douche that can't play. the worst part is getting to the campus. there is a high way to cross over and they have this creepy tunnel that runs under it. i would never want to use it at night.

when i get to my mom's lab, she isn't there. one of her student helpers was there. i asked for my mom, aka Dr. Wolfe. apparently, she is at some meeting and won't be back for a while, which is the opposite of what she told me. we had plans for lunch. i decide to wait in her lab. the helper guy starts talking to me. he opens with the line, "weren't you in my ____ class?"

i let him down and assure him we've never met before. he is so sure he has seen me before. i don't tell him he is working for my mom. the worker continues to flirt with me. i can't figure out why because i just finished running 6 miles to my moms work. he is trying his best to flirt with me and my mom walks in the room. she knew exactly what he was doing. i stand up and tell mom, "you are late, mom." it was at this point he figured out that he knew me from the picture in her office. he had the reddest face. mom and i had a good laugh over his embarrassment over lunch. i am half tempted to go back tomorrow, just to be cruel.

- miss wolfe

Another Year Down

2009-05-11T17:09:00.002-05:00

today was the last day of my junior year in college. i made sure my car was packed and ready to go as soon as my last final was finished.

now, i sit in my room at home. i missed my bed. it doesn't matter where you go or how fancy the mattress is, there is no replacement for your own bed at home. i was planning on being here for a short time then going to the beach but my plans have changed. my vacation is being delayed until later in the summer.

you ask, "what are you doing this summer?"

since you asked, i am spending my summer up in boston with a certain big chested friend of mine. i will be working up there and causing trouble at times.

it is time to go kick my brothers ass because he is being annoying.

- miss wolfe

It Can't Be Any Worse

2009-05-07T09:19:00.003-05:00

it is at the end of the semester for me so i am not writing a good deal. however, i saw this on cnn and had to comment.

Stormy Daniels, former porn star, is thinking about running for the united states senate from louisiana. there will be a lot of negativity on her because of her chosen career field. i fail to see how that makes one bit of difference. she fucked on film. who cares? it wasn't like she was secretive about her job or her taking money for fucking someone over. let's contrast this with a politician. they lie to get power. they take money from people and hand it over to special interests. the only time they pretend to have interest in the people is when it comes time for elections. basically, they fuck over the people they are supposed to represent.

i say a former porn star is a better person for the united states congress than any life long politician.

- miss wolfe

Bad Mojo

2009-05-05T18:59:00.002-05:00

there are some points in life where every bad thing you ever did comes back to bite you on the dick. an article sent to me by a friend highlights this. how much bad karma does a person have to score to get their dick bit off during road head?

- miss wolfe

Beware

2009-04-23T11:36:00.002-05:00

the monster is restless. it prowls the edges of the cage, noticing every tasty morsel in its sight. the monster is going to get free. there will be a time when my defenses are relaxed and it will pounce at the right opportunity.

"what the fuck are you talking about wolfe?"

the sex addict. watch out for the monster!

- miss wolfe

Why Are Catholic Girls Slutty?

2009-04-18T16:19:00.003-05:00

i am inspired today by a post on someone's blog. it is no secret that i am catholic, not a very good one anyhow. there is the stereotype of catholic girls being secret or not so secret sluts. for the longest time, my thoughts followed the line of repression causes breaking the rules. for catholics, this means: no sex before you are married, can't use birth control, and some others. little did i realize that church is a breeding ground for oral sex.

one has to go to a catholic mass to truly appreciate this observation. unlike many other religions, catholic mass requires some active participation from the people in the pews. there is standing up, sitting down and kneeling in a "praying" position throughout the mass. there is quite a bit of kneeling during mass. is there any better practice for a girl to give blow jobs than spending extended time on her knees?

let's go a step further. this changes from church to church but when it comes time to receive the host/body of Christ, there are two ways it is done. the first option is every lines up, walks to the priest while standing. the second, the way my church did things, people line up and go to the railing in the front of the church. when a spot opens, a person goes to the railing and kneels down awaiting the priest to bring the host. the host can be placed on the tongue of the person or in the hands. for my first communion, i chose the first because it seemed like fun to stick my tongue out at the priest. picture this, you have a woman kneeling in front of a man, because women can never be a priest in the catholic church, who is walking around placing things on her tongue. this seems more indoctrination to the blow job lifestyle.

it seems to me the catholic church is preparing women for a life of oral sex. first, they keep them subservient to men, there is a strong submissive overtone to giving a blow job. there is all the kneeling to get the knees ready for the time in front of a dick. to think, they teach this to girls in the second grade. the next time someone calls me a slut or whore, i can exclaim, "its the churches fault!" i joke with the last line but who cares, i'm going to hell either way.

- miss wolfe

The Naked Lie

2009-04-14T12:52:00.002-05:00

this is going to be a rant so you will have to ignore this post or take it for its worth. a friend of mine forwarded this "article" to me because of my love of Padma Lakshmi. what i found in the "article" was complete and total lies!

the title is called "the naked truth". they start the whole premise about talking to women who have some level of celebrity about self-esteem, nudity and their bodies. it is no big secret that most people's self-esteem comes from their body image. they let their shape determine how happy they are. what does allure do? they take some skinny or thinner people and photograph them naked. they don't stop there. they also photoshop the hell out of the pictures. how can i tell? the scar on Padma's arm is barely noticeable. i love chelsea handler, but that picture is photoshopped down. she is funny as hell but anyone that has seen her show knows she isn't in that good of shape. allure has taken a bold idea about talking to women about their body then manipulated it into the same garbage in every other magazine.

this article will only make women more self conscious about their imperfections, bumps or other things they don't like about themselves. people come in all shapes and sizes. we should embrace our bodies for what they are. we should love who we are and not let some image presented in magazines, television and movies make us feel bad. this article does nothing but make the average woman feel bad. show the real images allure. show the real naked truth! until the entertainment industry does so, it is all one huge lie.

- miss wolfe

Conflicted

2009-04-10T11:44:00.002-05:00

i love this time of year in the dc area. it isn't only the cherry blossoms, it is the warmth that isn't stifling. my favorite activity, besides sex, is running and it is a great time to run on the mall. i have the opportunity to do this during the week because of my busy schedule. however, sunday morning is the best time for a good run around the mall.

i've been running every day lately because of the impending peanut butter egg pig-out. my mom knows exactly what to get me for easter, lots of peanut butter eggs. it has been this way since i was little. i hate peeps. cadbury eggs are disgusting. m & m's are ok but not my favorites. although, their commercial is the greatest. (thank you easter bunny. bawk, bawk!) they have the sweetart candy but the height of sweetart candy is the valentine's day hearts. as you can tell, i have a sweet tooth.

there is really no way to transition into something different so this is going to be abrupt. the other thing about this time of year is the sexual batteries seem to be overcharged. it could be the whole cliche, spring means rebirth idea. nevertheless, it is a constant battle between sex drive and self control. this came to a knock down drag out battle earlier this week. the fight was being a good roommate or getting a really good fuck.

one of my roommates brought home a guy i hooked up with in my freshman year. i have such vivid memories of the orgasms he gave to me. somehow, the two of us lost contact and i answered the door with him standing there. we both recognized one another immediately. i knew he was there for the roommate but part of me wanted him to pick me up and fuck me against the door. my roommate is a prude when it comes down to it. she couldn't truly enjoy the pleasures this guy can cause. i have since masturbated a couple times thinking about the times me and this guy had between us. do i hope for them to fail so i can fuck this guys brains out? a little piece of me would fuck him even if they didn't fail to make a connection. the pussy can be pure evil when it comes to a good fuck and counteracting the good intentions of my brain.

- miss wolfe

Mow the Lawn

2009-04-03T16:27:00.000-05:00

- miss wolfe

Bad Cult Movie

2009-04-01T21:54:00.004-05:00

last night, i had the pleasure of stumbling on one of the worst movies in the history of movies. the movie is "the room" which was aired on Adult Swim. the acting is beyond horrible. the lead talks with a bad version of the dr. nick accent in The Simpsons. i expected him to break out with a "Hi everybody" in the middle of dialog. there were two particularly hilarious moments during the movie.

the first is the badly acted sex scenes. the funniest part was the blacking out of the naughty bits during the scenes. there were points the whole screen was blacked out of there was a small one inch square visible on the screen. i understand it was on cable but if you are going to black out the majority of the scene, cut the scene. however, the little bits of non black where funny. on a side note, the editing of the movie was so bad, there were points where they people took off their clothes then a scene of them making out with their clothes on would appear. it added to the hilarity.

the second thing is the randomly place "do not duplicate this copywrited material". yes, there was a line under the not. i wondered to myself who in their right mind would duplicate the steaming pile of dung.

this movie has reached some level of cult status like most horrible movies, i.e. "Showgirls". if you get the chance to see this aired on television, it is a must see for the editing done to show it on cable. otherwise, avoid this movie like the plague.

- miss wolfe

The Hands

2009-03-26T22:42:00.002-05:00

i like guys with big, strong hands. this could explain my liking of tall guys. tall guys usually don't have small hands. my pussy gets so wet at the thought of a sexy guy with big strong hands touching every part of me. one of my frequent masturbation thoughts is with a guy fucking me from behind. his hands on my chest, holding my tits as his cock goes deep inside me. another masturbation thought is being picked up, held up by his hands on my ass, my legs wrapped around his waist. i am getting a little horny thinking about it.

- miss wolfe

Mood Killer

2009-03-18T12:22:00.002-05:00

i had a complete mood killer last night. college students really don't need an excuse to party but st. patrick's day gave people around me a good excuse for some green alcoholic beverages. i am not irish, so i didn't have on any goofy "kiss me, i'm irish" shirt or button. i didn't wear any noticeable green. there was green under my clothes. i planned it this way to dare a hot guy or two to give me some pinches.

imagine a college bar with green beer and people drinking. it was around eleven at night and i was there for about 2 or three hours. the beer had me buzzing or a little drunk. i was hanging around one of my cuter guy friends. we were having a very flirtatious time. he gave me a pinch and i was very grabby.

me and cute guy friend end up back at my place. we stumble in the door back to my bedroom. i was thanking god that the roommate wasn't there. he was laying on my bed, me on top of him. we were doing some heavy making out and feeling each other up. i undid his pants and pulled out his dick. i barely started to stroke his cock when he shoots his load. fucking minute man! he is apologizing profusely, saying things like "i don't know why it happened so quick", etc... typical man excuses.

lucky for him, he was a good kisser and he offered to make it up to me by offering to go down on me. he had soft lips and a good tongue so i agreed. i lifted my hips as he pulled off my skirt and spread my legs so he could find a comfortable place. he put one of my legs over his shoulder as he got close to my pussy. his fingers started by circling my clit. he gave soft kisses and licks to my already wet lips. with his free hand, he started to spread my lips a little and his tongue moved to the inner lips. my breathing was getting deep. he had amazing oral abilities.

i started to play with my nipples as his tongue started to fuck me. my hips started to move with the pleasure he was sending through me. cute friend changed up on me and started to finger me while sucking on my clit. it felt even better. i could feel my pussy getting wetter. this was going to be a monster orgasm when it happened. however, the orgasm never happened. i was squirming with the talents of his mouth and fingers then i felt a certain pressure. a fart was coming and i tried my best to hold off the coming bodily function until i orgasmed. cute guy kept going. the orgasm was so close. i hurriedly tried to tell him to stop but he didn't. his fingers and tongue kept going. i begged him again to pull away because i was going to fart. at this news, he stopped and went to move away. it was too late. one of the loudest, worst smelling farts came out of my butt. he wasn't far away from me when it happened.

my face turned red with embarrassment. it was particularly bad when i saw the look on his face. he caught the full smell of my fart less than a second after it happened. i couldn't help but laugh. i am not talking about a little cute laugh. it was one of those laughs where you can't stop and you are gasping for breath. needless to say, this was the end of cute guy. i can't really blame him. it wasn't meant to be. i am still laughing as i write about it.

- miss wolfe

I drink the honey inside your hive ...

2009-03-17T12:25:00.005-05:00

happy St. Patty's Day. this post isn't about green beer or wearing green, it is about music. specifically, its deals with music about sex. this posts title should of given it away. (for the unknowing, it is from the song "Closer" by Nine Inch Nails.) i love the outrage of people when they hear songs like "if you seek amy" by britney spears. i am not a big fan of britney because the music is overproduced and she isn't the greatest singing talent. however, i am no stranger to sex. sex and music aren't much different. they are both driven by passion and emotion.

the best music is written with passion or in a moment of high emotion. this is why you can listen to a jazz or blues musician perform the same song two days in a row and get a different feeling or understanding to the song. they put the passion and emotion they are feeling at the moment into the song. music emphasizes our moods or sets a mood you are trying to create. you don't listen to high energy music when you feel mellow. people play barry white, al green or marvin gaye when they are trying to set the romantic mood.

in my opinion, sex is best at the apex of passion. there is a moment where both are so horny they can't take the suspense or wait any longer. they rip off each others clothes and become a slave to their sexual desires and horny thoughts. sex without the least bit of passion is lifeless and boring. people cheat on their significant others because there is no passion in the bedroom. they are seeking the passion they are missing. they crave that wanton urge to rip off their clothes and go at it like animals.

what is your favorite song about sex/masturbation? what is your favorite song or music to set the mood/to have sex? the title is very telling to my preference. i love the song "Closer" and i love to fuck to Nine Inch Nails. it could be my love of Trent Reznor or it could be the music. to set the mood, there is nothing wrong with a little marvin gaye. i don't know anyone that doesn't like the song "Lets Get It On". one of my favorite songs about masturbation is "I Touch Myself" by the divinyls.

if you are going out tonight to drink green beer and happen to find someone to get passionate over, remember the wonderful jimmy buffett song "Lets Get Drunk and Screw". stay safe, don't drink and drive. remember your green condom.

- miss wolfe

Lesbian Crush

2009-03-09T16:07:00.003-05:00

i have a new lesbian celebrity crush. it is Angie Goff. most of you won't know who she is but she does the news here in DC on channel 9. being a morning person, i catch her on the tv often. it was friday while listening to the Mike O'Meara show (DC radio station) that the crush took hold. i know Angie is married but if you ever want to have a lesbian affair with a 21 year old college student, call me.

- miss wolfe

Fresh from the Dryer

2009-03-04T14:10:00.002-05:00

growing up in the cold winters of boston, i found out early there is nothing better than warm clothes right from the dryer on a cold day. i never truly appreciated one aspect of the warm clothes. it was my pleasure to discover it today.

on friday , my mom sent me a little gift box full of reese's peanut butter eggs. readers, who have read this blog's archives, know my love of peanut butter so i turned into the little fat girl trapped inside me and ate a bunch of them. this threw off my extensive diet and workout schedule so i look extra sexy on spring break. today, i went on an extended run to work off some of the peanut butter eggs. my laundry went into the dryer before i went on my run. when i returned from my run, the laundry was dry so I put everything in the basket and took a shower.

after my shower and drying off, i walked into my room with a towel wrapped around me to get dressed. it was a colder day so i went to the basket of warm clothes from the dryer. i pulled out clothes as i found what i wanted to wear. the last thing i found was my panties; blue, low cut bikini, cotton panties. once i pulled on my panties, i realized the amazing feeling of fresh from the dryer panties. my limited vocabulary cannot describe the wonder of this feeling. the warmth cupping my ass and covering the lips of my pussy. it was amazing.

for some reason, this made me horny so i reached down in my newly cleaned pair of panties and began to rub myself. it didn't take long for my pussy to get wet. my fingers plunged inside me. i carefully rubbed my g-spot with my middle and index finger while my thumb glanced over my clit. my orgasm came fast and was intense. this of course let the crotch of my new panties wet. i got out of my panties and started to redress.

what is the weirdest, oddest thing you googled? i googled "google" today. it had 2.67 trillion hits, very odd.

-miss wolfe

Tagalongs

2009-03-03T21:26:00.003-05:00

it is girl scout cookie time. my favorite cookie has always been the tagalong. they are great cookies but a complete rip off. you pay $3.50 for 15 small cookies. how is that fair? why don't they also put a stick in the box so you can complete the raping of your wallet with raping your own ass? not only that, the boxes have shrunk. when i was a little brownie, the boxes were bigger. yes, i was a brownie, the little version of girl scouts. i never sold the most in the troop, which pissed me off. there was a girl in my troop that had her 17 year old hottie of a sister to walk her house to house. how in the world was i supposed to compete with her sister.

in my later years, i wanted to find a small girl scout cookie uniform and walk door to door selling cookies. i would have to have a girl scout with me but she would totally kick every one's ass in her troop. would you buy a cookie from me in a little girl scout uniform?

-miss wolfe

Lessons

2008-10-30T16:01:00.004-05:00

there are a few mistakes in my past that i regret. one of those is taking pictures then sending them to a boyfriend. in the era of the internet, pictures will always come back to haunt you. here is an example of such a thing. (took down site link because it is a fake) i don't know if this is a fake or what but i wouldn't be surprised if it was real. i don't know what the rest of the pictures are but i can imagine they are horrible.

this being said, there are rules you should always follow. 1. never take naked pictures of yourself to send to a significant other. 2. homemade videos will always be found no matter how hard you hide it. 3. if you don't listen to the above things, always keep the files secure so you control them. destroy them yourself so they don't get out.

- miss wolfe

Willy Spread?

2008-10-20T22:50:00.002-05:00

check your adult play edible body paints. there is a report in the UK about the chinese tainted milk substance is found in chocolate body paints in the UK. the thing i find funny about this is the term they use. willy spread. i love these british terms. can you imagine julia roberts asking hugh grant to pass the willy spread in notting hill. i bring up hugh grant because he seems like a deviant. the guy was dating one of the hottest women on the earth, elizabeth hurley, and goes to a hooker in hollywood.

on a personal note, i never got into the body paints or similar things. i am sure they can be fun in their own way but who really wants to deal with the mess. you would have to clean sheets or lay down some sort of barrier, have your fun, get a shower, change sheets. it is too much work for my liking. besides, i can have lots of fun with a couple ties (or handcuffs) and something like a feather and my mouth to tease the hell out of someone. i could be missing something completely and not know. i might have to try sometime, after all i have never been afraid to try something new.

- miss wolfe

Three questions

2008-10-17T14:47:00.002-05:00

If you could have one day to do over what would it be? there are days in my past i have done stupid things, plenty of stupid things. however, i wouldn't change those days. it would change the person i am today and i like who i am.

What would be the perfect date? i don't believe the "perfect date" exists. i think there is a spectrum but perfect is not achievable. to have a great date, the person and myself must have chemistry. there should be time for laughing, romance and talking. it should be something unusual or not the norm. anyone can go out for dinner and a movie, make the date memorable.

If you watch television, what program is a cannot miss? i watch television but there is nothing i cannot miss. i am not a slave to my television. some of my past blogs may disagree with the last statement but i have a tivo for stuff. if the tivo screws up, there is always some repeat or dvd release. as far as my favorite shows, i like quirky shows (pushing daisies, monk, pysch, house, life, cooking shows). cooking shows aren't quirky but i like to cook so i enjoy them.

- miss wolfe

What happened to personal responsiblity?

2008-10-15T15:15:00.003-05:00

i am inspired today by a news report on abc news. it is a report of a 15 year old girl that sent naked pictures to her friends via her cell phone. this stuff happens. it happened before there were cell phones with camera's and digital camera's. it was usually done with polaroid cameras. people have been playing i will show you mine, if you show me yours for even longer than camera have been around. what irritates me is the deflection of events like this to something else entirely. from the article, "More than likely, they suggest, she was only after a sliver of notoriety, the product of a culture where pornography has gone mainstream ..." and further down the article "Such incidents are a symptom of a culture where sexual imagery like the infamous photo of Britney Spears' exposed crotch or Vanity Fair's semi nude photos of 15-year-old "Hannah Montana" star Miley Cyrus have become the norm ...".

let's have a dose of reality. porn is far from mainstream. if it was main stream, there would be adult bookstores on every corner of your cities. if it was main stream, people wouldn't be embarrassed when the get caught looking at porn online. thong panties is not a sign of the mainstream of porn. its from a freaking retarded rap song in the late 90's. porn is not mainstream. now going to celebrities, these pictures are not the norm. it happens in a few isolated cases. i don't see every singer or hollywood actor getting out of there car and flashing their pussy or cock to every person. these are isolated incidents. they become well known because of the unhealthy obsession that american people have with the celebrity lifestyle.

what happened to personal responsibility? it is becoming a lost idea to the people in this country. they have way too many people telling them it isn't their fault, its the fault of someone else. a woman spills coffee on herself, a lawyer tells her to sue because the restaurant makes the coffee too hot. a person signs a loan they can't repay and they know they can't repay it, we have politicians saying its the lenders fault for forcing them to sign a loan. a kid dresses sexy or takes a naked picture or has sex, it is the fault of porn.

get a fucking grip on reality. it is the responsibility of a person to take control of their life or the life of their underage children. this means you don't sign a loan if you can't pay back the money. you don't lie about things on a mortgage contract and expect everything to be peachy. you don't give your kid a cell phone, computer in her room with webcam, a digital camera without checking up on them. you don't give your children your credit card to go out and buy them self clothes without telling them you can't buy skanky clothes. the people are responsible for the actions they do or chose not to do. this means parents must check up on their children. you don't give them the big fancy cell phone with imaging and text messages. you don't let a child have a computer in their room out of sight of everyone in the house. this is where things go wrong. take responsibility for yourself and stop blaming it on other people. its your fucking fault for not doing the necessary actions to ensure you are not going to get screwed.

- miss wolfe

Back to DC

2008-10-14T12:47:00.002-05:00

i got back from the wedding on sunday. it was a nice time. i didn't find some hottie to bring back to my hotel room to ride. there was a lack of hotness among the single people there. its a shame because i was kind of wanting to have a hot one night thing and never see the person ever again. the bachelorette party was uncomfortable. i am usually ok with a room full of strangers but i am not there with my mom. as predicted, there was a stripper. i can be cliche at times but this is a tradition that needs to die. male strippers are just creepy besides i think most are gay. this is one of the reasons if i ever get married, i am eloping.

on sunday and monday, the parents came down to dc to visit with me. it was nice to have them around, mostly because i didn't have to cook or pay for food. i make them sound bad. they aren't. they are the coolest parents i know. we went down to the mall and walked around. they hadn't seen the world war 2 memorial. i had a fun long weekend.

-miss wolfe

Wedding Update

2008-10-10T16:14:00.002-05:00

last night i went through the boring ritual of the dress rehearsal and dinner. it was much better that i didn't have to do anything but eat. i like it when family requirements are kept to a minimum in these situations. tonight is going to be somewhat exciting. it is the last night of being single celebrations. i am not sure if this is a good thing because the plan is to go out with my mom, soon to be sister-in-law and her friends to party. i can only imagine there will be a stripper involved.

this brings me to a tangent. why are male strippers creepy or slimy looking? i am sorry men but there are very few of you that look good naked or half naked. a man's body isn't the most beautiful thing. there are very few men that i want to stare endlessly at their naked body. at least with a woman's body, there are curves and a good softness. i know when i watch a porn i am not looking at the guy. about 95% of my focus is on the woman. it could be my bisexual side coming to the surface. this brings me to something that has been bothering me for a while. it is never cool just to have a picture of your junk . guys or little boys, we don't need to see the close up shot. we like dicks, we like fucking dicks, we don't want to examine every single blood vessel and wrinkle on your twig and berries. this goes for random email pictures, on webcam, or on some dumb facebook application. less is more! going to a pop culture reference, the seinfeld episode with good and bad naked. there are some things we just don't put in front of our eyes. there is a time and place.

- miss wolfe

3 Questions

2008-10-10T09:51:00.002-05:00

week 2 for 3 questions. this is the last set of questions i have.

1. Would you send me some panties that you have worn while masturbating? i don't usually wear panties while masturbating and if i did, the answer would be no.

2. Do you have any experience with anal sex or russian "titty fucking"...please describe in detail. i have experience with anal sex. i have no idea what russian titty fucking is. i can safely say, i don't have the chest for titty fucking. my rule for anal is: if you want to fuck me in the ass, i get to fuck you in the ass with a strap-on first. as for your "please describe in detail", the limits of this idea do not allow for me to talk about it.

3. Do you prefer sex outdoors under a warm sun or indoors next to a roaring fireplace? if its good sex, it doesn't matter where it is. however, there are appropriate times for both. i don't want to be outside in the midddle of winter in the sun. i certainly don't want to be infront of a fire on the hottest day of summer either.

- miss wolfe

Catching a Jet Plane

2008-10-08T13:34:00.003-05:00

i fly out of dc to the west coast tomorrow. i can't wait to go either. i am not a fan of california but i do love the warm weather. i told my mom to break out a couple bikinis from my storage at home for me. however, they will be wasted because as i look at the weather channel page, it is cooling off this weekend and it is getting warmer on the east coast. i was wishing for mid 80's to low 90's so i could go to the beach a little. shitty luck with the weather. tonight, i am packing so i can leave early in the morning to meet the parents at BMI.

- miss wolfe

3 Questions

2008-10-02T23:14:00.003-05:00

i got two submissions for this feature. i will do them in order of submission. here goes week 1.

Do you believe in God? yes, i believe in god. as i learn more about the world and universe we live, the more this belief becomes solidified. things are way to organized to have happened randomly. i am not saying the world is only 3500 years old and the dinosaur bones aren't real. however, i do believe in god.

What are your views on organized religion? organized religion is a scam. i say this as a born and raised roman catholic. it is a method to control the masses from a time when the world was less organized and gain money for their own gain. this tradition has been carried through to modern times. Do you really think god cares about all the mundane things a person does in their life? Now, you need to multiply that by all the people that lived and died. furthermore, it is a creation of man. man is deeply flawed. these are the people that lay down rules for people to reach heaven and never seem to follow those rules. these are people that start wars in the name of religion, which is supposed to be peaceful. they go out and kill people that have the same beginnings of religion. muslim history comes from christian history and christian history comes from jewish history. jewish history comes from mythology of ancient people. yet, religion requires that they are enemies. organized religion is a scam.

If or when you marry, will it be in a church? no. i want to elope. i want to do something crazy like run off to vegas and get married at a drive through chapel. i don't want to pressure people to show up to a big formal event. i don't want to obsess over flowers, dresses, guest lists, etc... . i want to enjoy my wedding.

- miss wolfe

A Couple Things

2008-10-02T15:29:00.002-05:00

i am a little light on posts this week due to political outrage. the majority of my writing effort has been to my senators and congressman expressing the outrage of this bailout legislation. i will spare you all my feelings on the subject but i will say i am not in favor of it. my representatives should know it after a couple letters to each of them. i even went to the office of my congressman, definitely a nice bonus when going to school in the DC area.

anyhow, i am inspired by a list from a couple months ago. i will call this list Things Women wished Men Would Do or Know:

1. they are called push ups and crunches. they do amazing things for 15 minutes amount of work. no gym membership necessary.
2. pay attention to the things we say, we drop clues about birthday presents and such. a gift certificate is not an appropriate present.
3. you say you want us to look hot but your actions say different things. jealousy is not a turn on.
4. we see you checking out the other women. we are not blind or stupid.
5. it takes little effort to look good. jeans and a t-shirt is not always appropriate.
6. going out with your friends does not constitute a date.
7. its a sex toy not a replacement for your penis.
8. uni-brows are not hot.
9. we fake it to make your ego feel better. you can't tell when we are faking it, porn has made it impossible for you to tell.
10. a girl riding you doesn't mean you get to lay there and do nothing. sex is a two person activity.
11. don't talk up your sexual prowess. we know 99% of it is bullshit.
12. i am independent and can do things by myself if given the chance.
13. taking out the garbage is not the end of the world.
14. men can cook. some of the best chef's in the world are men.
15. we know more than you think we do. we pay attention to details and remember things. don't try to bull shit us.
16. don't let your ego get the better of you when we beat you in a game or sports. it will turn us off and put you on the sofa.
17. open a door and pull our seat out for us. we are independent but we also like manners.
18. chew with your mouth closed. we don't want to see chewed food.
19. we don't want to see the big turd you just left in the toilet. flush it, don't show us or talk about it.
20. 90% of lingerie is not comfortable. when you buy it as a present for us, we know it is really a present for you. again, we are not stupid.

- miss wolfe

3 Questions

2008-09-26T12:22:00.004-05:00

as a replacement for five fact friday, i have a new regular feature for fridays. it will be called 3 questions. this will require some effort on the readers part. the readers will submit 3 questions. the questions should be geared for a relatively short answer, a small paragraph (like a five fact friday number). this solution is somewhat like fff and a little different. i will start this next week depending on the response of questions.

- miss wolfe

Ideas

2008-09-25T12:48:00.002-05:00

friday is usually five fact friday but it is becoming more and more difficult to come up with five new things every friday. i would like to keep a regular thing going for friday. it would have to be something easier and not taking a lot of time. if you have any suggestions, please submit it.

- miss wolfe

Porn

2008-09-24T12:13:00.002-05:00

i like porn! these are three short, simple words but brings up a butt load, not an anal creampie you perv, of questions when i say them. the usual question is "you really like to watch porn. are you just saying that?" those that know the beginning of this blog know it isn't a lie. i won't retell my introduction to porn, no need to beat a dead horse.

what kinds of porn do i like? i like regular porn. i don't get into ass to mouth, fetish, gang bang, etc... stuff. i never really understood the gang bang sort of porn. whats wrong with a simple guy-girl or girl-girl porn. girl-girl is super hot to me. it isn't because i have bisexual leanings. women are just gorgeous. i don't care about sticking to color guidelines when it comes to porn. it can be interracial, same color, aliens, ... whatever. although, interracial porn can be some of the hottest porn.

how often do i watch porn? it isn't an every day event. let's face it, there is too much of a good thing. porn is a good for when i need to masturbate and get off quickly or really good foreplay when i am with someone else. porn is a great way to get the mind going and juices flowing with someone else. it starts with watching, going to some kissing and rubbing, then ultimately the two people fucking. for masturbatory purposes, i will get on some website with a toy and go to town. men do it, so why can't i.

- miss wolfe

Movie Distraction

2008-09-23T14:46:00.004-05:00

i've said this multiple times but will say it again. i love the movie Meet Joe Black. it has nothing to do with brad pitt, even though i can't find a flaw in that physique (trust me i looked very carefully). this movie passes the multiple view test. it doesn't matter what i am doing at the time but if i see it on tv (at any point in the movie), i will watch it to completion. the reason why i love this movie is the way it represents being in love. movies, in general, idealize things like love, family and sex. i know this but i can't help but want the kind of love this movie presents to the viewer. ultimately, it is what i want in my life and in a partner for life. Anthony Hopkins character says,

Love is passion, obsession, someone you can't live without. If you don't start with that, what are you going to end up with? Fall head over heels. I say find someone you can love like crazy and who'll love you the same way back. And how do you find him? Forget your head and listen to your heart. I'm not hearing any heart. Run the risk, if you get hurt, you'll come back. Because, the truth is there is no sense living your life without this. To make the journey and not fall deeply in love - well, you haven't lived a life at all. You have to try. Because if you haven't tried, you haven't lived.

i could be considered a fool for wanting or waiting for this. the chances of it happening are so close to zero, it is an unrealistic expectation. however, i will wait.

on a side note, i would kill for the dress that claire forlani wears at the end of the movie. she looks so beautiful in it. we share the same body type and think it would look good on me. a girl can dream.

- miss wolfe

Reintroduction

2008-09-22T14:57:00.003-05:00

over the next week, i will be reintroducing myself to the blog. there are some of readers from the beginning of the blog. however, i haven't really been posting much for months so i am taking advantage to "start over". you may see repeated from earlier posts but i think this is important.

- miss wolfe

Avast!

2008-09-19T15:54:00.002-05:00

ahoy me mateys. lookit yer calendars. it be talk like a pirate day. make sure ye keel haul all the land lovers and scurvy dogs that talk regular. go grab yer lasses, grab some grog and blunder some booty. me be sending ya to davy jone's locker, if ya don't. hoist the colors and and crawl out of yer bung holes tomorrow. arrrr!

saucy wench wolfe

Official website
How to talk like a pirate

Crossroads

2008-09-18T15:50:00.002-05:00

not the brittany spears movie, i am talking about the blog. you have noticed the posts are far and few in between. i get so busy lately that i don't think about the blog until i get into bed. at that point, i tell myself "tomorrow". you can tell tomorrow never comes. it comes back to these crossroads. do i continue? do i shut down the blog? i love doing the blog. it is an outlet for me. i don't want to shut down the blog. however, it requires a rededication to writing. i guess i am saying i am going to make a concentrated effort to focus on the blog.

- miss wolfe

As seen on TV

2008-08-20T22:20:00.001-05:00

i couldn't sleep the other night so i turned on the television. late night/early morning television is infomercial gold. there is one in particular that was pure comedy. it is a exercise program "created" by mitch "seriously its just a name" gaylord. the one thing this man has accomplished is winning the gold medal in men's gymnastics in the 1984 olympics. this means no one hears from him until olympic years. this year he has showed up on some dumb celebrity reality show and now the "3 day melt it off" exercise program. you are going to ask "what was so funny?"

infomercials are always great fodder for horrible acting and photoshopped pictures. however, the good part of this commercial is part of his program. it revolves around what looks like a black and gold volleyball. this volleyball also has a great infomercial name, the "g-ball". what else would you name it? his name is gaylord and its a ball so why not g-ball. when they first mention the name of this ball, i broke out laughing because of the image in my head. this sounds like some horny man with a really bad sex move. i can picture the guy fucking some poor drunk, unsuspecting victim while he calls out "oh yeah, hear comes the g-balling". i will admit the first image involved a woman but then it went to the gaylord part and the woman became a man. it just made it perfect. i can see it in all the new gay porn. some catcher saying to his pitcher "give me that g-ball". god, i love infomercials.

-miss wolfe

Five Fact Friday (Back to Boston)

2008-08-15T18:06:00.002-05:00

fact #1 this morning, i went running along one of my old routes. it really made me miss boston more than i thought i did. it was sad.
fact #2 even though i grew up in boston, i don't have a heavy boston accent. i can say my r's and don't say wicked every three seconds.
fact #3 my brother's wedding is coming up in a month and i successfully avoided being in the wedding. i thank my mom for this because she probably told him not to ask.
fact #4 i can't wait to see the movie tropic thunder. it is one of the few ben stiller movies i have looked forward too. to all those people that are so offended, get over it! comedy is always going to offend someone, its what makes it funny.
fact #5 i don't like drinking out of cans. if i have the choice between a bottle or an aluminum can, i will always pick the bottle.

- miss wolfe

You will go blind!

2008-08-12T11:12:00.005-05:00

*** i had a tough time deciding for a title for this post. i was tempted to use the Monty Python song Every Sperm is Sacred. ***

in contrast to the title, fox news had an article on their web site stating the benefits of masturbation. i was shocked that fox news would have such an article. it goes against their conservative, moral, christian base. you can read the article, i won't summarize. although, the article would explain why i have little back problems. while reading the article, the writer mentions The Big Book of Masturbation. i haven't heard of this book but after looking it up, i need to buy it. i always love buying these books. the looks i get at the check out are priceless. the key is to find someone that is obviously insecure about sexuality and ask them if they read it. the embarrassment factor alone is worth the price of the book. this is probably telling me not to ever work in a bookstore, because i would be asking customers questions about the books they are purchasing. this also reminds me of an event in my life, i will put it at the end of the post.

the article brought me back to my younger days. it took me to the sex talk with my parents. we all know my feelings on parents talking to their kids about sex. my parents addressed the masturbation issue with me. they didn't tell me it was evil or not to do it. they told me the truth, not i would go blind or whatever. i was told that it was the best way to release any sort of feelings that built up. i couldn't get pregnant or an std by doing it. this is the information that kids should learn from their parents, not some teacher in a classroom. the parents talking about masturbation was a little late for my time schedule but it was good they brought it up.

funny anecdote: i was 16 or 17 and at the drug store for my birth control refill. there is a guy ahead of me in line. he hands over his prescription to the girl at the cash register and i notice it says viagra on it. i figure good for him, he is getting his. we are standing there and they call his name to get his pills. the poor girl running the registers ends the transaction with "have a good day". the man, being a man, says, "Oh you know I will." the cashier's face, realizing what he was buying, turned so red. the whole incident gave me a good laugh and still does to this day. the lesson is if the person is buying condoms, birth control or the little blue pill becareful how you end the transaction.

- miss wolfe

Not Done with the Olympics

2008-08-11T13:20:00.002-05:00

in the last FFF post, i said something about the olympics. i am not done after seeing some of the coverage over the weekend. the coverage sucks. what the fuck are some of these "sports" doing in the olympics? lastly, take away the exclusive coverage from nbc.

the coverage sucks so bad. we are in the united states if i am not mistaken. why in the hell are they showing an event with two countries that are not remotely close to the united states. its like living in brazil and only showing american football and no soccer. what the fuck to i care about china vs. japan badminton?

is badminton really a sport? what drugs were the olympic committe taking when they decided this should be worthy of a medal? badminton isn't the only "sport" that should be eliminated (list of olympic events here). i can get rid of three sports right away: badminton, table tennis and synchronized swimming. i am not saying there is no skill in any of these events, but use your fucking brain. synchronized swimming. this isn't mel brooks' history of the world part 1 (if you know the movie, you know the scene). synchronized diving. i saw this wonderful little thing the other night. we can dive in unison, woo freaking hoo. there can be diving but synchronized diving. beach volleyball. i am sorry, the only reason this is an olympic sport is for television reasons. it is a reason to show women and men in the sun with little clothes on. there is volleyball, there is no need for beach volleyball. equestrian. i am sure there is some historical reason why this is an event but isn't the olympics about human athletism. equestrian is more about the horse showing skill than the person riding it. lastly, rythmic gymnastics. i don't have to say anything else other than person with a stick and ribbon dancing around.

why should nbc have exclusive coverage? this is something for the world. the coverage should be spread out on all major networks during the olympics. this is so all the events, even the poor excuse of a sport, can be seen. nbc can show all the sappy, dumb, i don't give a fuck stories it wants while i watch track and field, swimming, and real events.

-miss wolfe

Five Fact Friday

2008-08-08T21:12:00.001-05:00

fact #1 the family invades tomorrow and over takes the house. i only ask that god stays my hand and prevents me from killing one of my annoying relatives.
fact #2 tonight starts the horrible thing i call the olympics. the olympics aren't a bad thing but the shit coverage that nbc plays ruins the games. in other countries, they have channels that play the events around the clock. there is no tape delay, preventing people from other countries from watching the events they show, or sappy story about the poor kid from the inner city that overcame his situation and got to the olympics. i don't give a fuck, show me events!
fact #3 i unpacked my stuff today only to start to pack for school. i am so sick of packing, moving, unpacking and starting over again.
fact #4 i don't really want to comment on the john edwards sex affair thing. however, i have one thing to say about the situation in general. why do people expect their political leaders to be moral people? these are the same people the lie to gain a position of power. they are not moral people, nor should we be surprised when we find out they aren't.
fact #5 my brother talked me into going to the driving range with him. i am a person that never held a golf club much less swing one. it was very comedic and i am sorry to the guy i almost hit with the slice/hook (whatever they call it).

- miss wolfe

Back Home

2008-08-07T18:43:00.002-05:00

i returned to the parents today. it was one long drive but i did it in one day. the big family reunion starts on saturday and goes to monday. woohoo! if someone could ship me a gun to put me out of my misery, it would be greatly appreciated. after my family event, i will be home getting ready for a mini-vacation to boston to visit my slutty friend and ready for school. the time inbetween will be spent with my new online addiction scrabble, i love that game. i look at the calendar and it seems like a lot of time. however, there is never a lot of time.

i am throwing in one last bit of news that caught my eye. this week a calvin klein ad was banned to run in the united states. it was banned because it showed eva mendes' nipple. from what i saw in the ad, it is shown on screen for all of 2 seconds. this also goes back to the janet jackson/super bowl incident (which no one really noticed until they took it to frame by frame slow motion).

one really has to ask what is wrong with nipples and breasts. NOTHING! it goes back to the puritan nature on which our country is founded. the irony is colonists came to the united states for freedoms they didn't have in europe. it makes perfect sense that they will stifle everyone once they land. amusingly, the rest of the world looks at our tv shows and thinks america is all about sex and we must be having sex on every street corner. there couldn't be another position further from the truth. the government is afraid people might see nipples. babies since the beginning of life have used to feed and grow strong. who would of guessed that something that gives life could be so evil.

it really goes back to George Carlin's statements on profanity. the only reason why something is bad is someone said it was. fuck means to hit. it was a common word a long time ago. if you fucked something, you hit it not have sex with it. the word evolved to mean having sex. then, someone decided it was bad. it must be banned. we can't have people saying this evil word. this is the same thing with the attitude towards sex, bodies and sexuality in the united states. people need to take of the chastity belts and relax a little. a kid seeing a nipple won't end the world as we know it. these things have been running on other country's televisions and they are in a lot better shape than us.

- miss wolfe

Sex All Around

2008-08-03T15:45:00.003-05:00

i have two pieces that caught my interest today. the first piece is from msnbc, or as i like to call it the obama news network. a judge in Iowa ruled that nude dancing is an art. its about time someone said this. it is hard work to be a good stripper/nude dancer. a person just can't jump on a stage and be good at it. it takes practice. i think its wrong that a 17 year old was doing it on the stage. she should be doing that for her boyfriend somewhere in private like all good minors. i know i had plenty of practice doing it in private shows for guys growing up.

this next thing, someone e-mailed me the link to a website called digg which mentioned Viking's Exotic Resort (warning this website isn't really work safe). at first look, this looks like a male only fantasy vacation. (however, i think they should offer some men to any women that may want to vacation there.) i did notice that there was a "couples" package. this is still a male oriented thing. i wonder if there is anything like this for women. better yet, schedule a vacation for a woman when they have bisexual women there. a girl can dream.

- miss wolfe

Five Fact Friday

2008-08-01T21:20:00.004-05:00

fact #1 i wasn't abducted by the NSA for my last post. i've had a case of procrastination. i have about 10 half written posts that i never got back to writing.
fact #2 i am going home next week from my summer job. i will be there for a week then going on vacation.
fact #3 school is close to starting and i am semi excited about it. i will have a tough schedule but not too many classes. there should be time for fun.
fact #4 i have a new hero. her name is Roz Savage and she is rowing from the united states to Australia. she has already rowed across the atlantic ocean. check out her website.
fact #5 this really kind of belongs to the previous fact but i want to bicycle across the united states. i am thinking i can do this after i graduate from school, the summer between graduating and grad school.

i will be finishing my unfinished posts this weekend so keep tuned for updates.

- miss wolfe

Comedies

2008-07-15T10:42:00.005-05:00

someone challenged me in my last fff post. i said i was sick of will ferrell movies. karyrogers commented, "You don't like Will Ferrell, ok, cool. What's your idea of an enjoyable comedy? Name a few." first, i never said i disliked will ferrell. i said i am sick of the same stupid movie year after year. this was the same with adam sandler back in the day. adam sandler grew in his choices of movies, going to movies like spanglish (one of my favorite movies), reign over me, and punch-drunk love. looking at the list of recent will ferrell movies, he plays a dumb/border line retarded guy who is accident prone. he does this well but the 10th time you see it, there is no humor in it. if he wants to continue this trend, do bit parts that aren't the main character. after all he was brilliant in movies like jay and silent bob strike back, old school, and zoolander.

second, the list of comedies is so big. it is hard to pick what would be good comedies to list. however, i will entertain you.
1. airplane! - this is a classic site gag movie, not to mention the play on words dialogue. this was the first movie that leslie neilson left the serious acting roles. who can forget the lines in that movie. "Ted Striker: Surely you can't be serious. Rumack: I am serious... and don't call me Shirley. " the following movies using this genre start to suck. they just copied a movie to failure in my opinion.
2. blazing saddles and young frankenstein - i don't need to say anymore.
3. office space - i shouldn't have to say anything here. this is a brilliant movie that satires the modern office environment.
4. the big lebowski - again, i don't need to say anymore.
5. swingers - the movie that introduced us to jon favreau, he was around before but never really had a following. it is a darker comedy but wonderful. who can forget the incident where he keeps leaving messages on the heather graham's answering machine. "That was so money!"
6. clerks - the introduction of kevin smith. kevin smith has had some flops but this started out a brilliant career. it led to movies like mallrats (love ben affleck in this, the stink palm), dogma (the buddy jesus), and chasing amy.
7. 40 year old virgin - this movie is a classic in modern times. the awkwardness of the movie creates great comedic situations.
8. best in show - christopher guest is a brilliant writer/director. he sets up a movie with scenes and actors then lets them improv. this is the best improv movie around. the opening scene of the married people in counseling with their dog is so damn funny.

there are more that could be on the list but i cut it short or it would be a long ass list. i debated whether or not to put the jerk on this list, it is the only movie steve martin did that was funny. it didn't meet the repeatable movie test though. my repeatable movie test is can i stop channel surfing when it is on and watch it til the end (first on this list is animal house).

- miss wolfe

Space Hookers.

2008-07-14T12:44:00.005-05:00

in NASA news, someone has determined that more study needs to be performed in the field of copulation and reproduction in space. when i read this article, my imagination ran wild. it made me think of some serious and not so serious questions.

the serious i am curious how they would pair up astronauts for these kinds of missions. would they be married or dating? would the astronauts have to be single to get one of these missions? it is a necessary thing to study because humans can't stay on earth forever. there is a life span to our planet, not to mention any sort of event that could happen to cause the end of humanity (is that really a bad thing). we would need to travel in space to get somewhere new. there would have to be some form of procreation to preserve the human race. there is the possibility of some serious developmental problems.

the not so serious my first thought deals with the title of this post. the first idea was to have space station brothels for long trips. you know where the astronauts can astronut. the next idea was space porn. anime movies don't count because its a fucking cartoon. although, it could be possible for a male baby born in space to have a tentacle penis. can you imagine if the guy missed the target. cum would be all over the place and not very easy to clean up. here i thought hotel maids had a rough job. one of the last questions was: where can i sign up?

- miss wolfe

Five Fact Friday (end of the world edition)

2008-07-11T20:39:00.003-05:00

fact #1 Reality TV: the newest sign the world is doomed is on CBS not FOX, i know i am shocked too. it is called greatest american dog. the last time i checked the best dog in the united states was decided at the primier dog show in the country, the American Kennel Club National Championship. i didn't watch the show but caught the end where they eliminated a dog. this is the most pathetic thing i have ever seen. the male dog owner is crying like a 10 year old girl trying to reassure the dog its ok. he is consoling the dog that is standing there with no fucking clue what is happening. this is so pathetic. no wonder 99% of the people in this country are brain dead, they watch this shit.
fact #2 Obama and McCain: one more person tries to convince me that obama is somehow different from the other politicians (mostly john mccain) is going to get kicked in the nuts/box. he is a typical politician, flip-flopping, pandering to americans. the saddest part is the people buy into this "change". yeah mccain followers, obama is flip-flopping. hello! your choice does it too. he does it all the time. get a fucking grip on reality people! they are both wrong. RON PAUL please help us, you are our only hope!!!!
fact #3 Movies: i am not sure if you saw the shit they call movies this summer. the prime stuff is coming out right now. there is mama mia (i need all of half a nano second of the commercial to tell you this movie will suck harder than gigli and glitter), swing vote (just goes to show that the american people have no fucking clue how the president is elected or how the government works) and step brothers (another fucking retarded, blow my fucking brains out please, will ferrel movie that is exactly the same as the previous movie).
fact #4 FISA and the Patriot Act: these are two examples that the sheep of the united states didn't care enough about to write their congress men and women. THE GOVERNMENT IS TAKING AWAY OUR CONSTITUTIONAL FREEDOMS AND RIGHTS!!!!!!!!! i refuse to vote for anyone that voted for either of these two pieces of legislation.
fact #5 House Resolution 362 and Senate Resolution 580: everyone has heard the saying "Those who cannot learn from history are doomed to repeat it." these resolutions are similar to the resolutions that gave President Bush the authority to invade Iraq. this time it is geared to Iran. the wise people in the House and Senate are thinking "we have troops in Iraq and Afghanistan but we really need our military spread out further, lets start a war with Iran." how is this sane? i am dumbfounded by the complete lack of logical reasoning by the people we elect to office. to quote the first batman movie: "Can somebody tell me what kind of a world we live in, where a man dressed up as a bat gets all of my press? This town needs an enema!"

i think i got all the rant out of me. i hope it makes any sense.

- miss wolfe

Sex in the News

2008-07-09T13:50:00.003-05:00

welcome back to my semi regular edition of sex in the news.

this really has nothing to do with the act of sex but more of an ouch. a major league baseball catcher fractured his testicle. i don't know how you men can live with that thing down there. it seems to attract things like flies to manure. this story made me cringe when i read it. i have heard of stories about a girl riding a guys dick and it breaks. it is the one time i am glad to say i don't have one of those things between my legs.

medical research has shown that the more guys have sex, the less chances they have of impotence. i refuse to call it erectile dysfunction. this is sort of saying a fuck a day, keeps the viagra away. this is also good news for sluts out there. they aren't really sluts, they are physical therapists. they are helping all those men prevent a medical disorder and increasing health insurance premiums. sluts never get the respect they deserve.

the amount of coffee you drink can affect your fertility. apparently, if you are a woman with fertility issues, drinking a lot of coffee can reduce your chances of pregnancy even further. i just heard a collective groan from the guys. they were thinking they needed to drink more coffee to kill their swimmers. my general rule in life is too much of anything is dangerous to your health or condition. oh, if you do drink coffee, please brush your teeth.

have you ever wondered what state can't i have sex with a porcupine? i have some great news for you, it is illegal in florida. this is a list of some unusual sex laws in the united states. on a good note, i will have to remember next time i see a hot trucker when driving home, don't fuck in a toll booth. the law wants to ruin all my fun. damn legislatures! i love laws like this, i wish i had the time to go and find all these obscure laws.

- miss wolfe

Five Fact Friday

2008-07-04T10:59:00.002-05:00

fact #1 i ate ethiopian food for the first time this week. it was really freaking good food. the ironic part of it was i chose an entree that was all i could eat. this just seems wrong on so many levels.
fact #2 i, officially, have been to hell and back; hell, michigan that is. i resisted the temptation to buy the shirt though.
fact #3 my mail recently has been weird. it has been a lot of men telling me their dick size. i seriously want to know the reason why men measure their dicks. it is the most pointless thing. THE SIZE OF YOUR DICK DOESN'T TRANSFER TO THE ABILITY TO USE IT!!! the last sentence comes off a little angry but it makes my point.
fact #4 in my time off this weekend, i came up with a brilliant idea for a book/movie. i will never write it. this blog and my horrible grammar is enough punishment to the world.
fact #5 i am contemplating doing the 100 item challenge. the idea behind it is to limit the number of things you own to a 100 items. some things don't count, such as food, shared objects, cleaning supplies, for example.

- miss wolfe

Answers

2008-07-02T14:27:00.002-05:00

i wasn't going to jump my cousin and fuck his brains out. it was one of those weird questions that popped in my head. on some level, it is so wrong. however, he is someone i would barely recognize so it could be some guy at a club that i ended up giving a hand job. its weird how it works out.

midwestern guy, i am disappointed in you. didn't you see the big sign in the midwest welcoming me as i entered the region for my summer job. the vacations will have to wait because i am working until august. the poor beach guys will have to find some other tourist to bone.

- miss wolfe

I Love Holidays!

2008-07-01T23:13:00.002-05:00

my boss decided the holiday would be an extra long weekend. this means i have wednesday to sunday free. i have no clue what i am going to do for all these days. in the end, my ass will probably end up at a lot of parties. this could be a dangerous thing because i find myself getting a little wilder at the parties. the animal is coming out in me. it has been a while since the animal has been out so i might let it make an appearance.

- miss wolfe

A Serious Question

2008-06-30T14:14:00.002-05:00

i was talking to my mom this weekend. she tells me that they are going to host a family reunion at the house. it will be a big group of family, most of which i haven't seen in years, walking around my house. i will be in hell. however, there is a point to this post. there is a member of my family that adopted kids instead of the old fashion way. we were never close to this member of the family. the last time we saw them would be like 6 years ago. the one son they adopted was hot back then and will probably be hot now. is it wrong if i flirt with him or want to do things with him?

- miss wolfe

Five Fact Friday

2008-06-27T12:33:00.002-05:00

fact #1 i had mcdonald's for the first time in a year and a half today. i felt nauseous within five minutes. i am waiting a couple more years before i give it another chance.
fact #2 i got a good laugh out of a viral video this week. it reminded me of a post i did back in april.
fact #3 i am beginning to like my current location in the midwest. i do miss the ocean and beach. however, the used book stores, great food, hot guys do make up for it.
fact #4 i have been spending a lot of time with the frat guys and athletes here. nothing too wild has happened yet.
fact #5 i almost had a George Carlin moment today. my boss comes into the lab today and says, "i have looked everywhere for my keys and can't find them." his grad student says, "they are always the last place you look for them." the grad student said this seriously. i wanted to tell them how stupid their statements were but i held it inside. i ended up giggling which they didn't understand.

-miss wolfe