case for a male god
as we know from the bible, god created adam first. why would a guy create another guy first? either god was looking for a drinking buddy or god was gay and needed a lover. if god wanted a drinking buddy, there is no way he would send him off to the garden of eden. he would want his drinking buddy around to party. this doesn't make any sense to me. if god were a male and gay, it would make perfect sense. god and his boyfriend were getting along, then the boyfriend did something unforgivable. what would be the option? god would break up with him and banish him to a far away place. however, we all know how much religion hates gay people so this isn't really a possibility.
case for a female god
women want more than anything for a man to love them. therefore it makes sense for adam to be created first. everything went well for a week or so, then adam started leaving his fig leaves on the floor. god gets pissed and tells him to pick that shit up. adam, being a man, doesn't pick up the fig leaves. god kicks him out of heaven to the garden of eden. since god is a woman, we are vindictive, so she creates eve to torture adam in the garden of eden. eve walks around in her skimpy fig leaves causing adam to get blue balls. this backfires on god because the new woman digs adam. god can't have this, so she gives them some random rule: don't eat from this tree. of course eve gets pissed at god, "who does this bitch god think she is?" eve grabs the fruit and offers it to adam. now there is no going back for god. she kicks both their asses out of eden.
there is no doubt that god is a woman.
- miss wolfe
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