Five Fact Friday

fact #1 i am now pissed at ABC. they took the national spelling bee from ESPN. they ruined it like all television networks do. they do the little asides with the back story of the spellers, and worst of all they spell the word on screen before the kid spells it. it takes the fun out of watching it if i don't get a chance to spell it horribly. fucking television!
fact #2 the next thing pissing me off is television and sports, basketball at the moment. why the fuck are they showing player introductions all the time. it is annoying and wastes time. also, the announcer guys are annoying to me. fucking television!
fact #3 unlike most women, i won't be seeing the sex and the city movie. i find the show annoying and the people, with exception of kirsten davis, ugly and even more annoying. who in the hell would want to bone the samantha character or the actress the plays her? let's face it the high point of kim cattrall's looks was the movie mannequin.
fact #4 i am saddened at the news of Harvey Korman's death. one of my all time favorite movies is Blazing Saddles, pretty much any Mel Brooks movie. if you haven't seen this movie or know what it is, stop reading and go to the store to buy it. it is only ten dollars at most places. poor hedy lamar. "That's Hedley!"
fact #5 while all the facts so far have been on television or movies, one of my favorite scenes in MASH, the movie not show, was just on the television. the scene where frank and margaret are having sex and they put the intercom in the tent. Another fantastic movie that everyone should see at least once in their life.

on a side note, here is an article someone forwarded to me in slate magazine. it is one of those things that i say "duh". i don't know why they needed a study to tell them the conclusion. oral is a safer form of getting off. however, std's can still be transmitted so be careful. it is time to put blazing saddles in the player.

- miss wolfe

Mmmm, Peanut Butter.

i was having a fat person moment today. i am not saying fat people are lazy, bad, ugly, etc... , so don't send your hate mail. i got home from working for mom and decided to go for a run. i didn't eat lunch and had a small breakfast. after my run, i was ready to eat a whole cow. there wasn't any cows around so i went to my big food weakness, peanut butter. i grab a spoon and my jar of peanut butter; i have my own jar because i will take a spoon to eat it out of the jar. take myself into the family room and flop down on the couch in front of the television. there was some mindless show on so it was perfect to relax and eat some peanut butter.

i was at peace, spoon of peanut butter in my mouth when my brother decides to be a brother. he grabs my peanut butter and runs off. there is one rule with my peanut butter. don't fuck with it!!!! the game is on now. i wasn't about to let him run off with it, besides i can out run him any day. he ran outside in the yard so i took off after him. he thought he was being cute up to the point that i tackle his ass. you need to understand the difference between him and me. he is a 6'3, 195# hockey player. i am a 5'7, long distance runner, so it is a miracle that i can knock him over. i still have that peanut butter film left on my tongue so i lick his face. after all, it is the mature thing that brothers and sisters do. i get off of him and start to run. he follows but he trips and hurts himself. you would of thought i broke his leg, he stubbed his toe. i laugh because again "mature" brother and sister fighting. my dad and mom come home so my brother tries to get sympathy from them. my dad tells him, "you shouldn't of fucked with her peanut butter. you know better." My mom and I laughed in response, he left with his wounded pride. he is now my bitch!

- miss wolfe

Mandatory Fun

my mom invited a bunch of her workers over to the house for a holiday weekend party. she has to do this so the people that work under her feel appreciated. these events are always miserable. i am not against parties, i am against strangers roaming around my house. also, no one brings their older children. i never went to any of my parents mandatory fun parties. the only offspring people bring is babies. i hate crying babies. my goal is to limit my exposure to the people. i will get something to eat and go hide with my brother. we will most likely play video games or watch a movie.

***
the party is over. it was as miserable as i thought it would be. there were two babies. i swear they took turns crying and competing on who could be louder. my brother and i escaped for a good portion of it. the party or this weekend reminded me of a sex story. i will start to write it tomorrow. i also have a random fact for today. the greeks invented dildos. i learned this while watching the history channel.

- miss wolfe

Five Fact Friday

fact #1 i miss my family's summer vacations. every summer, my parents would take two weeks and the family would go different places. the time in the car sucked but they were fond memories.
fact #2 i found a nice thing about living in the middle of no where. there are lots of different roads to run on without having to worry about getting hit by a car. there are quite a bit of hills too.
fact #3 i kept a stuff animal from when i was five. he sleeps in bed with me when there is no one else.
fact #4 i never watched myself have sex in a mirror. it always worked out the geometry of the room wasn't right.
fact #5 my parents love having me home because i am in a cooking groove lately. they enjoy coming home and not having to do it.

- miss wolfe

Update

i don't know how many of my readers are football/soccer fans, but the Manchester v. Chelsea UEFA game yesterday was great. i don't pull for either club so i enjoyed a great game without the entanglements of fandom. i am sorry MLS but your brand of soccer isn't as good. it won't be as good. it doesn't matter if you have becks or not.

the other part of my night was watching the new indiana jones movie. (after all, it isn't a post with out a movie mentioned or referenced.) i have nothing to say about the movie, because i don't want to ruin anything for people that are eager to see it. i will say they waited too long to make another movie. 65 year old harrison ford just isn't right. he was so sexy back in the last movie, but people who are old enough to collect social security aren't sexy. i have my limits even with the wonder of the little blue pill. people will argue the movies aren't about him being sexy, but you are a man and don't get it. women see the films because of the sexy men and a decent story.

the rest of my week was spent helping mom with her lab. its not so bad because she leaves me alone to do things. if she hovered, it wouldn't be pretty. we would be at each other throats by the time we got home. it is so easy to get angry and yell when it comes to working with or for a family member. my mom and myself are very much a like in personality. it is a dangerous combination sometimes. i do like talking to the guy in the lab next to my mom's. we went out to lunch a couple times this week. i was in flirtation mode. let's be honest, i am always in flirtation mode around attractive guys. i was let down when he said he had a girlfriend. i can only hope the disappointment was too visible on my face. i seriously need to find a guy to fuck hard and long. the quality at this place and time is lacking. i can only hope michigan brings better luck.

- miss wolfe

Five Fact Friday

fact #1 i came up with the most brilliant name for a business. it requires me to move to a foreign country or laws to change in the United States. the name is Toke and Poke. it would be a marijuana meets prostitution establishment.
fact #2 it feels like it has been ages since i had sex last. honestly, it has only been two and a half weeks but it feels like a lifetime.
fact #3 i started watching craig ferguson recently. this guy is brilliant. if you are up after leno or letterman, don't want conan. you need to turn it to craig. there is some stuff on youtube. he makes me laugh so hard.
fact #4 i went to see iron man the other night. it was surprisingly good to me. i am not one for comic book movies but robert downy jr. played a good role. he is a good actor, it unfortunate that he had so many personal issues.
fact #5 i think my mom heard me masturbating the other day. i walked down stairs and she was giving me this strange look. unless, she was thinking about something else but i am pretty sure she heard me masturbating.

- miss wolfe

Oh, Brother

today, i went to get my brother from school. he finished his first year of college. my brother will be the black sheep, not a trouble maker, of the family when it comes to college. my older brother is going for his PhD, i plan on going for a PhD, my parents are both PhD's. i don't see my brother going that way. i don't want to imply he is a bad student, he is a better one than me. anyhow, i am getting off my train of thought. i expected to get there and he wouldn't be all the way packed. he shocked me by being ready. his roommate, who is so fine, is leaving on friday. when i drove my brother to school earlier in the year, his roommate and i hit it off. i wouldn't let anything happen though. it is his roommate. i could imagine how uncomfortable it would be for my brother knowing his friend fucked his sister hard. maybe, i put too much thought into that sort of thing. my goal is not to cause tension between them. the ride home was good. we caught up on our lives, shared some stories of our semesters, etc... .

i noticed some of the guys in his dorm checking me out as i helped him carry stuff. some people would call it ogling or staring. i know there is a section of the female race gets so upset by this. i don't get why they are upset. it isn't demeaning me by staring at me. it is a good thin in my opinion. it means they like what they see. i am attractive to them. it is more of an ego boost then demeaning me. there is a line somewhere where it crosses to demeaning. it is one of those things that depends on the person and the situation. if you are with your significant other and staring, then you should know better. however, if you are by yourself and see someone attractive, it is okay in my book to give a look. there were some attractive guys looking at me. there is one in particular i will probably use to masturbate to tonight. yes, i have a "spank bank", as you men so eloquently put it.

-miss wolfe

Two Days of Wasted Time.

i had the intention of writing the last two days but never got around to it. my dad got a riding lawn mower yesterday. you would have thought it was a new car, he was so excited about it. he took it around the yard for a test drive. it is too funny how giddy men get over stuff like a lawn mover. mom and i quickly lost interest in him driving it around the yard and went inside. it was one of those moments that i wanted to turn to my mom and say, "and you let him stick his dick in you." unfortunately, all women have those moments.

my mom suggested i should help her set up her lab at school. she got a new grant and hasn't done much work on the lab because she is primarily an administration type at the college. i know she will pay me and i have a couple weeks to waste so i will do it. i went into her work today to look at the lab. it needs a lot of work. if i didn't already have a summer research thing, i would of been there. there is a plus, the lab next to hers has a really hot college guy working in it. i won't start working in it until monday. the parents tricked me into picking up my brother from school tomorrow. i don't mind going to get him. to be honest, i miss having my brothers around. (i will kill anyone that lets them know this.)

i have mostly been wasting time and relaxing. there has been lots of running and playing sims 2 on my computer. this bitch on the game kept kicking over my garbage can so i built walls around her then watched her die. it was the highlight of my day. on the good note, pleasantview is minus one trashcan kicking bitch. well, i am in a movie watching mood, so i will leave you now with the promise to update tomorrow.

- miss wolfe

C'est fini!

i am officially finished with my second year of college. after my test today, i got in my car and drove to the parents. my parents were happy to see me and i gave my mom her mother's day present. i did call her yesterday to tell her happy mother's day, so it wasn't like i forgot about it. i proceeded to cook dinner for my parents, my mom's favorite meal. after dinner wasn't too exciting. it was me unpacking my stuff and getting re situated in my room. my night ended with a dvd and me masturbating.

- miss wolfe

Five Fact Friday

fact #1 when i get a house, i want a hidden room. i wouldn't call it my "vandersexx" room (the mandatory movie reference) or would it have anything to do with sex. i think it would be cool to have one. it could have like a bookshelf for a door.
fact #2 i have only one more final then it is time for my break. i can't wait to sleep in my own bed.
fact #3 i went to a MLS game last night. dc united really sucks, not the statement of someone who dislikes the team but the statement of a fan of soccer/footie.
fact #4 pearl jam is moving up on my favorite music list. dave matthews will always be number one but eddie vedder et al are great.
fact #5 i want to goto a George Carlin comedy concert. he is the only comedian worth the money to pay to see live.

- miss wolfe

Five Fact Friday

fact #1 the worst advertising slogan in my opinion is "what happens in vegas ...". it is even worse that people feel the need to change this slogan to anything and everything. i swear to god, the next person that says that around me is getting kicked in the balls or box.
fact #2 i gave up coffee for green tea recently.
fact #3 i found a computer game i want. it isn't out yet but looks like fun. it is called spore. it is by the same person that created the sims. i love that game because it really isn't a game. i will have to post a picture of the "sim" version of me.
fact #4 i hate it when someone moves something on my desk. it will bug me until everything is back in its place. i can't really work at a desk unless things are in the right place or i cannot concentrate. this is why i tend to work on clear tables. there is nothing to obsess over.
fact #5 i need to start writing more letters and less e-mail. e-mail doesn't have the romance that letters do. people don't collect e-mails to read in the future like they do letters. imagine all the letters that women kept from soldiers in wars. whether they are to their lovers or family, it brings a person back to a time and place that e-mail don't provide.

-miss wolfe